When Two Loners Meet
by Katyusha47
Summary: Hachiman and Kawasaki are forced to escort their beloved younger siblings from school. This presents Kawasaki Saki the toughest challenge of her high school life so far: keeping her feelings for our favourite loner hidden. What happens when you force two loners to interact? [Main Story Complete.]
1. Warmth

Monday. The worst day of the week. Fresh from a weekend of doing nothing much at all, the rigour of this day was already wearing me out, more than usual. I couldn't wait any longer to get out. The stuffy room didn't help either.

As a result, once the bell rang and Hiratsuka-sensei bid the class farewell, I packed up and tried to bolt out of the classroom, to escape this prison.

In my haste, I had forgotten to wait for my clubmate, and she duly made her presence known, stopping me in my tracks with her thunderous voice.

"Why do you never ever wait for me, Hikki?" Yuigahama accused. _I only did it once in the past few weeks, why does your tone sound like one you would use when talking to a brutal serial murderer?_ Also, stop pouting damn you. It would give others the wrong idea, after all, what I did was a simple mistake, not some despicable act.

Clinching the chance to tease her in retaliation, I said, "If you don't finish packing in ten seconds, I will leave you here."

"Ehhh, Hikki, how cruel! Give me more time!" She wailed, attracting the attention of whoever was left in class, and their stares were directed right at me.

Wait, why am I the villain now? All I did was crack a joke. Not that I cared about all these riajuus anyway.

Looking around the classroom absently while I wait for Yuigahama, I spot a pair of purple eyes staring straight at me. They flickered for a moment. Those eyes belonged to… Kawa… Kawasomething. She gasped when our eyes crossed one another. She quickly broke contact and left the classroom with haste. That was weird. Am I really that hated? Not that I would care anyway.

As Yuigahama finally stuffed the last of her belongings into her bag, I slowly trundled towards the door, and she kept pace. Finally, the last stage of my daily routine, the Service Club. Most of the time I just idled away, reading my light novels, drinking tea, and trading insults with Yukinoshita. She never seemed to run out of ways to insult me. Well, her title of Ice Queen isn't for show after all.

"It sure is cold this winter, right Hikki?" Yuigahama asked as she tilted her head towards me. It was so typical of her, to fill any silence with noise. Oops, I meant conversation. Really. I don't find her noisy. Not at all. She always managed to find something to fill the void during our short stroll from the classroom to the Service Club room.

"Yes, it is indeed colder than usual." And it was true. Winters in Chiba are typically mild, and temperatures rarely dip below zero. As such, it was even rarer that there would be snowfall. One of the many reasons why I love Chiba. Chiba is the best place in the world. I would never let it go for anything. However, today's temperature was already dipping below zero, and it would only get colder as the week progressed.

"I hope it doesn't get too cold… Sablé's dog wear might not be thick enough." Yui replied. Funny how the first thing she thinks about when it comes to the cold is her dog, and not herself, or anyone else. Just how much does she love this dog of hers? No wonder she was so thankful I saved it. But then again, if she loved her dog so much, how did she let him loose near the road? Another mystery of the universe I have yet to uncover. Not that I had the time to uncover it anyway, for we have arrived at our destination.

Gently opening the door, it revealed the sweet aroma of the tea leaves, which wafted through the air and gracefully filled my nostrils. Further in, Yukinoshita was silently preparing tea. Looks like someone got here early.

"Yahallo, Yukinon!" Yui greeted from behind me. My ears rang as a close range blast from the Yuigacannon erupted right next to me. I glared at her, but she was already moving towards Yukinoshita, as if she was ignoring my existence. If only she was more considerate towards my eardrums. Even to a loner like me, my ears are important too! I need them so that I can listen to my lovely angel Totsuka-tan talk sweetly about his escapades during tennis training. If only he would bless me with his presence a bit more…

"Oh, greetings, Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun. Take a seat." Yukinoshita turned around, evidently surprised at Yuigahama's sudden explosion of noise. One would think that she would have gotten used to it after so many months, but apparently not. The Ice Queen was evidently not infallible, after all.

Taking my usual seat at the far end of the table, and the closest to the door, I must add, for that seating position means it was so much easier to remove myself from the room when the club time was up. Setting my bag down, I was about to retrieve my light novel when I felt a vibration in my pocket. That was weird. No one ever texts me at this hour. Komachi should still be at school, and my parents were still busy slogging away their lives as corporate slaves. And for obvious reasons, I do not expect anyone from school to text me.

Placing my hand into my pocket, I extracted my phone and looked at the screen. Surprisingly, it was from Komachi.

 _Onii-chan, I would need you to pick me up from school. The school has implemented this temporary measure to combat the increasing number of stalkers in the school's vicinity. Sorry for informing you so late, and stealing away your precious bonding time with Yukino-san and Yui-san. Loveya! Your dearest Komachi._

"Hikigaya-kun, that smile looks extremely creepy. What exactly are you reading?" Yukinoshita said while covering her great plains with both her arms. _There's nothing to cover there, don't even bother trying._ Of course, I kept that thought to myself, for I knew that if I let that loose, I would not survive to see the next sunrise.

"Komachi just sent me a message," I replied.

"Hikki, that's was so creepy! Seriously creepy!" Yuigahama recoiled in disgust. Evidently, she didn't have a younger sister of her own to care for, and she will never understand the bottomless amounts of love one can lavish on his or her younger sister. I pitied her.

"Proving my suspicions once more, you really are a siscon, Hikigaya-kun. Really hopeless." Yukinoshita said as she put her hands to her forehead, and begun rubbing it.

"About that message… I need to go pick her up." I said, facing the screen towards the pair of them.

"Oh.. you be on your way then, I'll inform Hiratsuka-sensei for you. Inform us if there are any changes. See you around, Hikigaya-kun." Yukino said, fulfilling her role as club president reliably as always.

"Goodbye, Hikki! See you in class tomorrow!" Yuigahama said, waving her hand in farewell.

I grabbed my bag and proceeded out of the clubroom, much earlier than expected. This was becoming a decent Monday after all, I got to skip club, go home early, and get to spend more time with Komachi. What more can I ask for on an otherwise drab and dreary Monday?

As I stepped out of the school block, the full force of winter struck at me once more. Since the school was near the coast, I was feeling the full brunt of the freezing sea breeze. I shivered slightly. It was definitely one of the coldest days of the year so far. I donned my gloves and walked over to the bike stands, unlocked my bike, and began to cycle towards Komachi's middle school. Utilising all my experience from the past year or so from fetching Komachi to school, I took all the shortcuts I knew of, just so that I could see my dear Komachi even faster. Not because I was lazy. Not at all. I mean who wants to expend extra effort when there is no need to? Not me, for I am not that foolish.

Arriving at Komachi's school, I gave her a short text informing her that I was outside her school gates. Shortly after, I see Komachi walking out of the school buildings with a teacher and… _that insect._ Taishi, his name was. Komachi often mentioned him in our conversations at home. He was the one trying to get close to my precious Komachi. As a loving elder brother, I would not allow that. _Now, if only I had some time alone with this poisonous insect…_

My thoughts of conducting pest control were interrupted when the loud mouthed pest opened that particular orifice of his. "Hello, onee-chan, onii-san!"

"I've told you before already, don't call me onii-san, or else…" I snapped back. I was getting annoyed seeing him getting so close to Komachi, and wait, he said onee-chan too. That can only mean that…

"Or else, what? Are you threatening my brother?" An intimidating tone spoke out from behind me. Turning around to face the source of the voice, I saw a pair of scary looking eyes boring into me. Looking at her blue ponytail, I realised something. What was her name?

Kawa… Kawachi? Kawakaze? Sakawa? Ahh, whatever, Kawasomething-san it is. For a moment I thought she was Mega Man for a moment there for how much blue she has on her…

 _If looks could kill, this would be close to it._ People with younger sibling complexes were extremely scary. I mean, doting on a blood relative to such an extent was creepy. Totally creepy. Who else does this anyway? Sadly, it looks like my pest control measures would have to wait for another day. One day, one day I will get my chance. I'm always ready… ready to strike.

"Hello Onii-chan, Kawasaki-san, thanks for coming to pick us up!" My lovely Komachi's voice was like music to my ears. Rushing here was so worth it, just for that. Also, nice save Komachi! Coming to the rescue of your one and only brother. Now I recall, that creepy brocon's name is Kawasaki. I shall remember it. At least I think I will.

Sensing that this was the right moment to cut in, the teacher spoke up. "I presume that you are the siblings of Komachi and Taishi here. Please sign on this form to show that you have picked them up. I apologise for the inconvenience, seeing that you must have rushed over from your own schools. We hope to end this arrangement as soon as possible. The students have already been given a circular to explain the situation in full to your parents. Goodbye and stay safe!"

"Goodbye, Taishi-kun, see you tomorrow!" Komachi said as she waved her hands at that insect. Do insects spread disease? I think they do. I don't want any of those on my dear Komachi though… Christmas is coming up. Maybe I should get her some insect repellent. That might work. No, I'm not jealous that Taishi spends so much time with her. Not at all. I'm just doing what a normal elder brother would do.

"See you around then, Kawasaki." There, I used her proper name! Why is she getting so flushed? She seemed to be spacing out. All I did was something expected of societal norms, something to be expected. Oh well, I guess it's because she's just that type of person, one of those loners, just like me. Choosing to be alone meant that she was not used to interacting with others I guess. As she realised my glance that was on her, she immediately shot me a glare. What a sudden switch! What's wrong with this woman, such a scary being! I recoiled instinctively.

"Oh, see you around too, Hikigaya," Kawasaki said, her eyes looking down at the floor, intentionally avoiding eye contact. Hey, that's quite rude of you there, while I might not be as handsome as a certain Football Club captain, I'm pretty sure that I'm still a rather high spec in that respect. Didn't your parents teach you any manners about looking at who you are talking to? "See you around too, Komachi-chan."

"Bye bye, Kawasaki-san!" Komachi beamed. She really lights up the place wherever she goes. As expected of my sister. With that, Kawasaki took Taishi in her hands and began walking off.

"See you, onii-san!" Taishi waved at me. I could only muster a grunt in response. Didn't I just tell you specifically, not to call me onii-san? My fists clenched up in anger. One day… Just you watch out little insect. One day I will get you…

"Let's go, onii-chan, it's cold out here. And can you stop staring at Taishi-kun as if he's an insect? It's a tad creepy you know." Was I that obvious? Nah. She probably knows what I want. We are such close siblings after all.

"Let's go, Komachi." I said as we got onto the bicycle. As I cycled through the familiar streets that I've come to know and love, I noticed the absence of any crowds. The harsh winter definitely has killed off any ideas of hanging out. It was getting way too cold for the average Chiba citizen. How blessed we were, with such mild winters. I love Chiba.

"Onii-chan, sorry for troubling you. I'll make dinner for you in return! Ahh, that surely got me a ton of Komachi points!"

"It's okay, Komachi." It was at this kind of moments that I would love to rustle her hair and give her a head pat, but unfortunately, my hands were occupied with well, riding the bicycle. I would do anything for this sister of mine.

Arriving home, I shed my outerwear and headed straight for my beloved bed. It was a long day, and I needed some rest. After all, that was one of the benefits of this arrangement. I could spend more time flattening my bedsheets. With that, I closed my dreary eyelids and fell asleep.

* * *

Some wise old man once said staring at the clock doesn't make it move faster, and I can attest to that. What I wanted though, to the contrary, was for the clock to move slower, but Sensei's mouth to move faster. The bell had rung several minutes ago, and the corridor was filled with commotion. However, class 2F was still stuck in its prison. Sensei mentioned something about it being important and what not. I begged to differ. Picking up my sister on time is much more important. And I was running late. Every time that second hand ticked clockwise, I was getting later. Sneakily sliding my belongings into my bag bit by bit, I hoped that Sensei wouldn't notice, as she went on and on. It was getting annoying. It's no wonder she can't find anyone who could stand her long enough to marry her.

"Thank you, class, sorry for holding you up. Class is dismissed."

Finally. Freedom. I unceremoniously shoved the rest of my books into my bag and dashed out of the classroom, but not before giving the clock one last glance. Thirteen minutes! Sensei stole thirteen whole minutes of my life away! Thirteen minutes of my precious free time!

As I stepped out into the open, I noticed how gloomy it was compared to yesterday or even this morning. The clouds were hanging a little bit lower and they had grown in size. The strong winds bit into my body with a menace. They were the harbingers of an impending snowfall. I tugged my coat even closer towards myself. I was glad I put on my gloves before heading out, as my face definitely felt the full brunt of the winter chill.

Making quick strides over to the bike stands, I began to unlock the chains restraining my bike in place. Fumbling with my gloves, I got rid of them, and I instantly regret it. The metal chains were ice cold, and it froze my fingers. After all, it had been sitting out in the open for the whole day. Quickly untangling the chains from my steed, I stowed them in the front basket and donned my gloves once more. How warm they felt.

Getting onto my bike, I spotted a certain someone walking towards the gates hastily. My eyes involuntarily followed her lush, flowing blue hair down towards her… behind. Against the backdrop of the gloomy grey sky, those blue streaks of hers stood out. She was quite pretty after all. What was her name again?

"Ka… Kawasaki!" I shouted in her direction.

"Eh?" She turned and looked at me in surprise. Guess I got her name right then, since no one else responded. Thank my high-spec brain for remembering that!

"You want a ride? We are going the same way anyway, and we are running late." Wait what did I just say? The words just came out of my mouth rather uncharacteristically as if I was taken in by her beauty. No way I was that superficial. Right? Oh well, I already said it, and it would be unbefitting of a high spec gentleman like me to retract an offer.

"Riding the bike… together?" She stared anxiously at her toes before looking up at me, her fingertips pressed hard against one another, and on her lips.

"Yea, how else?" I responded, getting slightly annoyed at her hesitance. Time was still ticking away. I gestured towards the rear of my bicycle.

The annoyance must have made it into my tone, as she became more flustered before agreeing.

As she slowly strode over and took a seat, she let out a short shriek. I look back instinctively and found myself inches away from her face. Well, my bicycle is small, and that was inevitable. Her scent invaded my consciousness. Was that… lavender? It smelled good. But still, it was too close. Way too close to her face. Our eyes broke contact as she glanced away. It took me a moment, but I got back to my senses.

"What happened?" I enquired. She was a girl of little words, someone who chose to avoid interaction, much like me. She wouldn't open that mouth of hers for no good reason.

"The.. metal... It's cold." came the barely audible response. Ah right. She had to grip on to the rack to prevent herself from falling off, and the rack was metal. Glancing down towards her hands, I realised that they were bare, as her fair skin shone through in stark contrast to the sheer black metal frame of my steed.

"Where are your gloves? It's cold today you know?" I asked with concern. It was nothing more than my imouto instinct taking over, I swear.

"They.. they tore, and I haven't had the time to mend it." Kawasaki looked away shyly.

Recalling how bone numbing the chains were against my fingers moments ago, I made her an offer. "Take mine then, at least my handlebars are rubber. Here." I said, as I plucked off my gloves and dangled them in front of her.

She looked at the gloves as if she was in a daze. "Take them. We are running late, you know." As she donned them, she went silent once more, rooted in place staring at those hands of hers, as if she had donned the world's most expensive pair of gloves.

"Get on, and hang tight."

"O-Okay." as she stumbled onto the bicycle. Seeing that her hands were tightly clutching the frame, I faced forwards and rode off onto the streets.

Riding out of school into the crowd of students that were not held back by a certain nearly expiring Christmas cake that is Hiratsuka-sensei, I was garnering weird stares. What's so weird about someone cycling home in the winter? It's a convenient mode of transport, and much more efficient than walking. Furthermore, it doesn't cost me anything, unlike the train. Gripping the stone cold handlebars, I was slightly regretting my generous offer to Kawasaki. Reminding myself that her situation was worse, I gritted my teeth and carried on.

The wind began to pick up as our speed increased. The crowds thinned out, only to be replaced by more of the bitter, freezing cold. Remembering that I had a passenger behind me (I could tell from the excess weight, but I was smart enough not to mention it), I told her something I've always told Komachi when the weather was exceptionally cold.

"If your hands still feel cold, put them in my coat pockets. My hands are on the handlebars, anyway."

More layers between the skin and the outside air meant extra insulation. Common sense dictates that meant more warmth. Simple really.

"But that would mean…" she replied, almost silently. For some reason, she was reluctant to finish the sentence. I wonder why.

"If you need to, just do it. Can't have you falling sick when you have your younger siblings to take care of… right?" and that was true. I recalled the events from _that insect's_ request, Kawasaki was taking care of her younger siblings while their parents were corporate slaves at wherever they worked.

Taking a quick glance at my watch, I realised that more time had passed than I expected. I guess I had to make up for lost time, right? I wasn't going to let Komachi wait any longer than she had to, and especially not with that insect.

"Hang tight, I'm taking a few shortcuts." Swerving off the main road, I cut into the narrow alleys that offered a much shorter path to the middle school, albeit at a cost of comfort. It was bumpier and less smooth, but it does the trick. To combat smart people like me, the local council had begun placing road bumps along such small roads to prevent those on bicycles to speed pass houses at dangerously high speeds. While I was not an avid fan of high speed (it took up too much effort), it did present for a bumpy ride. Not to mention there was some extra weight behind today.

Freewheeling towards the first of many bumps, I gave a curt warning to my impromptu passenger. What happened next was totally out of my expectations. Kawasaki let out a yelp in surprise and clung onto me from behind. With both her arms. While I did tell her to place her hands in my pockets if need be but what she did was essentially a bear hug.

"What the…" I cursed in surprise at the sudden contact.

"I'm… I'm sorry, it was so bumpy and I was losing my balance and I was afraid I would…" Kawasaki rambled away, and I felt her slowly release her grip on my abdomen.

"It's… its okay. It wouldn't be great if you fell off." I replied. I mean, her falling off would definitely delay our journey, right?

"Are you sure?" she asked tentatively.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." I replied casually. I mean, what's done is done, and she was just doing it instinctively. I can't fault her for that. I'm not such a bastard.

"Okay then," she acknowledged. I realised in the next moment that I had misunderstood her completely. Instead of forgiving her for grabbing onto me as I intended, she had interpreted that as me allowing her to carry on hugging me. What have I done? Now it was too awkward to tell her that she had misunderstood. Oh well, at least we were getting to our destination soon.

However, with every passing speed bump, she clung on tighter and tighter, and soon I felt her warmth on my back. I would hate to admit it, but it felt great. It was the depth of winter after all, and any source of warmth was welcome. It was totally not because I felt her head leaning on the back of my neck. Totally not the case at all.

Thankfully, we soon arrived at the middle school. The sparse crowd showed that we were indeed, quite late. Despite the scarcity of people, people were still sending weird glances our way. Was it really that odd that I gave Kawasaki a ride?

"We are here." I declare, stopping right before the gates. Finally letting go of me, Kawasaki quickly strode towards the gate proper, looking for that little brother of hers named Taishi. I leaned my bike against its stand and followed her, looking forward to reuniting with Komachi.

Her face lit up as she waved her arms towards the school building, a rare show of expression from her. I guess this is what a true brocon looks like. I went forward ahead of her and looked for my beloved Komachi. There she was, strolling out with that insect once more. A lucky boy he was, for today he spent more time with my lovely Komachi than he had deserved.

I felt a gentle tap on my back, and I turned around, only to find myself face to face with Kawasaki. Or at least I thought I would. Instead, what I saw was a pair of gloves dangling in my face, and Kawasaki looking to the side, her features obscured by the swaying pair of gloves that were mine. I reclaimed my gloves, revealing a Kawasaki whose face was glowing red, a contrast made more obvious against the backdrop of her luscious blue hair. Must have been the cold weather today. I stood there silently for a moment, my eyes taken in by her features. I have never seen her so up close before, and beyond her tough facade was indeed a very beautiful face.

"Onii-chan!" Komachi rang out from behind me, shaking me out of my daze.

"Oh, yea, let's go, Komachi." I replied, still slightly stunned.

After exchanging our customary farewells and once again pushing back my pest control scheme, I prepared to mount my steed, but not before wearing my gloves once more. The gloves felt warm, and it smelt of lavender. It was her warmth. Her scent. On my gloves.

"Something wrong with your gloves, onii-chan?" Komachi asked in concern.

"Nothing, nothing at all." I shook my head, brushing off her concern. Komachi seemed to quieten down after that, and it was an uneventful ride back home.

Reaching home, I stretched my arms and began to saunter towards my room, but this time Komachi stopped me.

"Onii-chan, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, my dear Komachi, what do you want to know?"

"Just now… how was it that both you and Kawasaki-san arrived at the same time? Sure, it was coincidence yesterday, but once more today…" Komachi leaned towards me, her eyes coy with suspicion.

"I… I gave her a ride. We were both running late, and we were going the same way anyway."

"Then what about the gloves? You lent yours to her didn't you?" Komachi's smirk reminded me of a certain foxy kouhai that I had fortunately not bumped into recently. I shuddered at as her image appeared in the back of my mind.

"She didn't bring hers." What is this, an interrogation? What wrong did I do this time, Komachi?

"Giving a girl a ride on your bicycle, lending your gloves to her, staring intensely at her face… How daring of you, onii-chan." Komachi gave me one last coy look before disappearing down the corridor and into her room. That was odd. After all, what I did was perfectly normal… right?

* * *

A/N: This is my first attempt at a proper fic. Massive thanks to Xynovitch and yang for the beta/proofread. Thanks as well to The Quotable Patella for helping me name this fic. All feedback welcome. Please review. See you guys soon.


	2. Frost

**Saki POV**

I couldn't hold it back anymore. Not after he uttered those words as he charged down the corridor.

It was the Cultural Festival, and I had found a quiet spot outside our classroom. Away from the noise, away from the boisterous, faceless crowd that I've always preferred to avoid. I was thankful that it was so deserted, for it gave me some much needed alone time. The play had taken up much of my energy, and I was not going to interact with anyone if I could.

Then he came, dashing up the stairs, almost tumbling, straight for me.

I tried to act tough, indifferent even, but I got progressively flustered.

His eyes were sparkling with resolve, and my eyes shied away the moment they made contact with his.

He was fulfilling his duties for the Planning Committee, asking something about accessing the rooftop that I often used as a refuge from the ruckus. I recalled the time we spent up there together with much delight.

Then, as he left, he dropped that bomb on me.

" _Thanks! Love ya, Kawasaki!"_ He uttered as he sprinted off towards the rooftop.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I knew it wasn't a confession, but it sure did sound like the one I've always hoped for.

In that corridor devoid of anyone, I let out my emotions.

I hoped that no one heard my shriek.

What happened today was different. On another level. Today he was so kind… so gentlemanly. The warmth from his gloves, the warmth from his back… He felt so reliable.

He was so close, so tempting. His warmth, his scent, his everything. I couldn't bear it any more. I wanted all of it. And so, I hugged him. Hard. And I loved it. Now I desired to embrace him even more.

It was moments like these that made me hold on to hope. A hope that he will, one day, reciprocate my feelings too.

The hope burns like a fire within my heart, undying, unwilling to be extinguished. Instead, it burns stronger with every passing day.

I try hard to ignore it, to pretend it doesn't exist, but it burns more intensely everytime I see him, and every sentence we exchange fuels that fire. Every day, it burns stronger and stronger.

I'm anxious and very afraid.

I'm afraid of the day when I can no longer hold back my burning desire.

What will I do when the day arrives and I can no longer hold it in?

One day, I will confess my love for Hikigaya Hachiman.

* * *

 **Hachiman POV**

The howling winds slamming against the windows signalled to me that my usual lunch spot was not going to be a viable option. It looked like there was a snowstorm approaching, and as the winds gathered strength, I was glad that I was indoors. Annoyingly, however, this meant that I had to stay in the classroom with all these irksome riajuus. Resigning myself to this poor fate, I sunk my hands into my bag and retrieved my bread. My eyes wandered aimlessly around the classroom as I considered if I should get an ice cold can of my beloved MAXX coffee from the vending machine. After all, it was rather chilly today.

As I weighed the pros and cons of moving from my seat, I spotted a certain girl with a blue ponytail looking at me anxiously for a moment, before her eyes darted away furtively. That was odd. What did I do today to induce such a reaction from her? Wait, why is she walking towards me? She was breaking one of the few sacred, unspoken rules among loners… that is to ignore each other's existence in the midst of such a large crowd… If only it was Totsuka who was walking towards me instead. How I've missed him blessing me with his presence. It seems that he will be eating with his clubmates today. Again. Leaving poor me all by my lonesome. Banishing those potentially dangerous thoughts to the back of my head before they became material for Ebina's perverse fantasies, I looked up at the girl who had now arrived at my desk.

It was none other than Kawasaki Saki.

Seeing that she evidently had something important to speak to me about, I patiently waited for her to start. She pressed her forefingers against one another, she seemed to be struggling with parting those lips of hers. It looked like she never would get going, and I was getting slightly flushed with her staring at me like that…

I wanted to put an end to this awkward situation, and not wanting to waste more of my precious break time, I took the initiative.

"What is it, Kawasaki?" My tone came out sterner than I expected, but I blame that on my dry throat. I guess I should really get that can of MAXX after all.

"D-don't get so agitated, I-I'll tell you…" Kawasaki's eyes looked down at the floor apprehensively.

After a light cough to clear out my throat, I explained myself.

"I'm not agitated, my throat was just dry, you know."

Kawasaki sighed in relief. For a girl with such a strong facade, she was surprisingly weak to pressure. Interesting. Taking in a deep breath, she looked up at me with those bright eyes of hers, her timid expression now replaced with one of resolve. Stop it! My poor heart can't handle such a pure intense stare…

"I need your help. I have to pick up Kei-chan today… and my parents are not free. Can you help me pick Taishi up?" she pleaded.

Kei-chan. Her younger sister. I bumped into the pair of them a while back when I was helping out Isshiki with her stuff at the nursery. However, upon hearing that annoying pest's name, I scowled instinctively. I was not inclined to accept her request. Not only did I have more work on my hands, I now had to deal with that insect for much longer than I would have liked.

"Please?" Her long lashes fluttered up and down as she blinked at me. I was at a loss for words. I relaxed my scowl. How could I say no to such an expression? Taking my change in expression as agreement, she continued.

"Don't… don't you dare do anything to my brother." Now that didn't sound much like a threat did it, with her stumbling over her words. Well, at least she was being the brocon she always was.

Before I could reply, she continued once more, "In case anything happens… call me." Her hand slipped into her dress pocket and produced a slip of paper. Once I took it, she turned around and disappeared across the classroom. On the paper was a row of digits neatly written below her name. I never knew people still exchanged contacts with pen and paper in this day and age, but apparently, Kawasaki was one of those.

As I sunk into my seat, I realised that I didn't even have the chance to deny her request, much like what a certain foxy kouhai always did. I thought that this would have been a good break from the Service Club and helping out with assorted requests, but I now realised that it wasn't the case, sadly. Poor Hikigaya Hachiman had once again been saddled with more work that he didn't ask for. The least I could do was reward myself with that can of coffee, and so I would.

I got up and headed out of the classroom and towards the vending machine, thinking back about what just happened. Kawasaki had braved the sea of riajuus just to tell me to take care of that insect. She was a serious brocon indeed. Her love for her brother knows no bounds, it seems. It must have been difficult for her, and with a reluctance that I was getting way too familiar with, I set about fulfilling yet another request. The least I could do was to save her number I guess, and I did. Having it on my phone was more convenient than having it on a piece of paper easily forgotten anyway.

Slipping both my phone and that slip into my pocket, I plucked out my wallet and fed the machine which rewarded me with the sweet, sweet taste that is MAXX. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

The weather forecast today seemed a bit too optimistic about the temperature. As I walked out of the school building, the strong icy breeze chilled me to the bone, despite my layers of insulation. It is often said that the moments before snowfall were the coldest, and I sure hoped that it didn't get any colder. Blessed by Chiba's typically mild winters, I was not accustomed to such frigid temperatures.

Not wanting to spend a moment longer outdoors, I strode quickly towards the bike stands and retrieved my bicycle. As I rode as quickly as I could through the streets, the snow had begun to fall, and the wind picked up even more speed. Riding into the wind was a terrible experience, as I felt my face getting blasted by the numerous puny bits of stone cold ice, it felt like they were freezing bullets repeatedly pricking my face, gradually freezing it in the process.

Before long, I arrived at what was already a familiar sight: Komachi's middle school. Having parked my bicycle beside the gates, I trundled over to the gate and waved my hands to catch the attention of Komachi. Having seen me, she excitedly tapped Taishi's shoulder and they began to walk towards me. _That insect is getting way too close to my precious Komachi._ Remembering Kawasaki's threat, I forced myself to expel those thoughts of crushing that little insect. I wouldn't want to enrage a serious brocon anyway. God knows what she would do. I shuddered at that thought. Brocons were not to be trifled with.

Instead, being the responsible young adult that I was, I decided to inform her that I had picked up that insect and would proceed home soon after. Taking my phone from my pocket, I started texting her while waiting for those two to get to the gates. My dear Komachi, can't you see that onii-chan here is freezing from the cold? Can you not talk to Taishi as much and walk faster? While I love you very much, I can't do that anymore if I freeze to death right?

Speaking of the cold, the snowfall was progressively getting heavier, and the winds continued to howl relentlessly, growing in intensity. It was rapidly turning into an intense snowstorm. We had to get home quickly or risk getting stranded. Realising the severity of the situation at hand, I frantically waved at them to hurry up.

Sensing how frantic I was, they finally injected some sense of urgency into their steps and soon approached me. Given the intensity of the storm, I was afraid that we would be snowed in if we dragged our feet. Unfolding my wallet and emptying it of my precious savings, I handed the notes over to Komachi.

"Get a cab home, and call me once you reach home. I need to get this guy to his house first." I said, pointing at Taishi. What an annoyance. Not only did I have to spend less time with Komachi, I now had to make a detour just for him. I had to do what I had to do I guess, as I would rather not find out what a brocon like Kawasaki would do to me if I initiated my pest control measures.

"Okay, see you, Onii-chan! Don't take too long..." Komachi said cheerfully before pulling out her phone to hail a taxi. While waiting for the taxi to arrive, an awkward silence ensued. While Taishi definitely looked like he wanted to continue his conversation with Komachi, he seemed to sense my thoughts and backed off. On my end, I was unwilling to start a conversation with Komachi, for fear that the insect would find some way to weave himself into our conversation. I was just protecting my dear Komachi from an annoying pest. Just like any normal elder brother would do. Nothing particularly wrong with my actions, I think.

Instead, I turned to Taishi. "You had better give clear directions, or else we are going to freeze to death."

"Of… of course, Onii-san," Taishi replied, his face brimming with resolve. Who was he trying to impress? I certainly was not moved by his performance. And once again he had ignored my warnings not to call me "onii-san". Luckily for him, Komachi was still in close proximity. I wasn't going to scar her eyes for life. Thankfully, at this point, the taxi had arrived, and Komachi was on her way.

Motioning towards my bike, I glanced at Taishi, who understood what I implied. Dusting off the snow that had collected on the seat, I climbed aboard and began to ride off. In the couple of minutes that it took for us to get moving again, the storm had intensified. The harsh winter winds combined with the ever-growing frost meant that I was beginning to shiver, despite my reliable coat providing decent protection. Just how cold was it now?

"Onii-san, turn right here, and the third house to the left is ours." I grimaced as I heard him addressing me that way again. I was in no mood to retort him, but honestly, calling me onii-san isn't going to boost your chances with Komachi. Like, apart from me not liking you, Komachi evidently doesn't feel that way either… I'm sorry mate, your teenage romantic comedy died before it even started. In fact, it's more of a tragedy, isn't it? While I would like to empathise with you, I don't want you laying your filthy hands on my lovely Komachi.

Screeching to a halt outside the Kawasaki household, I waited for Taishi to dismount. The cold was getting unbearable. Seriously, was I living in Siberia or Chiba at this moment?

"Onii-san, come in! Get something hot to drink before you go back…" Taishi invited, his hands waving me in. While I still objected to how he addressed me, the offer of a hot drink and the warm house in this chilling weather was way too enticing to reject. Taishi was holding the door open, a tempting invitation indeed. I'm sorry Komachi, looks like you will have to wait a little longer for your dear onii-chan to get home.

I got off and parked my steed on their lawn, took off my shoes, and stepped into the Kawasaki household. Taishi, being the insect that he is, quickly scurried down the corridor and into what I assumed was the kitchen.

"Come on in, onii-san, the tea will be prepared soon." This pesky insect wasn't so useless after all, it seemed.

The Kawasaki household looked like any typical Japanese-style house, with wooden flooring, a flight of stairs up to the bedrooms, the kitchen to the right, and what should be the living room on the left. At least I thought it was normal. This was, in fact, my first time entering someone else's home that didn't belong to my relatives. However, it felt cosy, especially with the weather outside. The warmth was a very welcome change.

Following in Taishi's footsteps and stepping cautiously into the kitchen, I took a seat at the table and rested my feet.

Taishi soon came with two mugs of piping hot green tea. I gratefully accepted the tea and held the mug tightly with my hands, the hot vapour wafting from the tea and into my face, warming me up from the terrible cold that was the outside. Taking a sip, the warmth emanated down my throat and into the core of my body. While Taishi's tea brewing skills were far from matching Yukinoshita's, it didn't really matter at this point. A warm, cosy house, cradling a freshly brewed cup of tea. Coming in wasn't such a bad idea after all…

Taishi took a seat opposite to me and was consciously avoiding eye contact. That was strange. You know that I won't eat you up, right? It takes too much effort. I think I'll get rid of you in a manner that is painless… to me.

Taking a few more sips of tea, I set down the cup and let out a long sigh. I was getting a little bit too comfortable. Looking out of the window, I could see the flurries throwing themselves against the windows, the wind mercilessly shrieking on and on. I dreaded the moment which I needed to head out back home.

I heard the door creak behind me, and soon the sound of footsteps filled the hallway.

"I'm home!" a high pitched voice that rang pierced through the silent void that had previously filled the house. It must be Keika. Kawasaki would never make such a loud announcement of her arrival anywhere. Not even at home.

Taishi burst out of his seat and leapt towards the hallway. I stood up from my seat and followed him. It was only basic respect that I greet my gracious hosts after all.

"Onee-chan, Kei-chan, welcome home!" the insect bellowed. Keika ran into Taishi's welcoming arms. What's this? A reunion between long lost family? Why does it look so dramatic?

As Taishi carried Keika back into the kitchen, I found my gaze landing on Kawasaki.

She was dripping wet and shivering badly. She had obviously shed some of her clothing to keep Keika warm, much to her own detriment. Atrocious amounts of snow had landed on her garments, and as they melted it stuck to her body, accentuating her… features. They might not be comparable to Yui's but at least she had some, unlike a certain club president. Needless to say, my eyes shied away from her. Looking at her in that state for any longer would have been dangerous… I'm a healthy teenage boy after all.

"Are… are you okay?" I asked instinctively.

She stood there in stunned silence. Was she shocked at my presence? That shouldn't be. I did leave my bicycle parked outside.

"I'm… I'm good. Don't worry about me." She finally responded through her chattering teeth, her arms interlocking from the cold. Despite her assurances, her body language definitely suggested otherwise.

This was one of the common characteristics of us loners. Thinking back to the time Taishi raised the request to help her, it was similar. She was trying hard to resolve all the problems on her own, even though that came at great cost to herself. We are always unwilling to seek help. It is some sort of loner instinct. We are afraid of showing signs of weakness to others. We are afraid of relying on others, only to be disappointed. We would always try to solve issues on our own, no matter how tough it might be. Such is the path of a loner.

However, at this moment, Kawasaki Saki definitely needed some help.

I decided that she was going to need that warmth more than I did, so I turned my head to face the kitchen and ordered, "Taishi, put Keika down and get me my cup please."

Sensing my stern tone, Taishi immediately complied. Maybe there is hope for this little insect after all.

Gingerly handing over the mug over to Kawasaki, I ordered her to drink it.

"But…" She hesitated while staring into the cup.

"Drink it before it gets cold," I repeated myself.

She gently blew on the rising vapour before emptying the cup. Reclaiming the cup from her while keeping my eyes on anywhere but… there, I looked down at Keika, who had now wandered into the corridor having been set free by Taishi earlier.

"Kei-chan, can you help onee-chan get a change of clothes? She needs to bathe now."

"Haa-chan, okay!" Keika's big eyes brimmed with confidence as she turned around and proceeded up the stairs. Looks like Keika still sort of remembered my name. At least she didn't totally forget it, nor did she wait for someone else to reveal my name through conversation before remembering it. I wondered who could be so heartless to forget someone else's name, despite multiple reminders. Totally not me. I remember everyone's name clearly. Sometimes they even earn the honour of being in that special book of mine. Annoyingly, the book didn't seem to work. After all, I haven't had a shinigami flying around me. Not yet, anyway.

"You heard what I said, so go."

Kawasaki remained rooted to the ground, unwilling to move.

"I said, go." My voice came out blunter than expected. This time, I gave her a slight tug on the shoulders, hoping that it got her going.

"Please… please don't get angry…" Kawasaki looked straight at me with teary eyes. I was not expecting that.

"I'm not, but I will if you don't start moving."

Kawasaki's eyes lit up with fear and she immediately moved down the corridor, towards the bathroom. She was surprisingly weak to pressure. At least it got the job done.

Handing over the now empty mug to Taishi while reluctantly thanking him, I sensed the vibrations in my pocket. As I took my phone out of my pocket, I saw that it was Komachi who was calling.

"Hello, onii-chan! I just reached home safely. Where are you?"

"I'm resting at Kawasaki's house at the moment. The inse- I mean Taishi offered me a hot cup of tea. I will be back as soon as I can. So sorry, my dear Komachi."

"It's okay, onii-chan. Take your time. Be careful of the snow okay? It's getting heavier. It looks slippery out there… I'm sure that got me a bunch of Komachi points right? Hehehe." Komachi laughed smugly as she cut off the call.

Flipping the phone shut, I see Keika slowly dawdle down the stairs with a bunch of clothes and towards the bathroom. I kept my distance for obvious reasons.

Soon, she reappeared with another bunch of clothes, but she seemed to be struggling with the bulk of it. It was winter after all, and all of us had multiple layers on. While Keika was certainly trying to be helpful, she had obviously bitten off more than she could chew. I sighed as I approached her. I guess I had to repay them for their hospitality, right?

I asked softly, "Kei-chan, where is the laundry room? Onii-chan will help you."

"Down the corridor and to the left… can you also help Saa-chan get her towel? It's the bright pink one!" Keika waved her hands up in the air excitedly. Pink? For a girl bedecked from head to toe in nothing but blue, it was a surprisingly normal choice. I would have expected it to be blue.

As Keika handed me the bunch of clothes, something black peeked from underneath the shirt. It looked like lace of some sort. It looked oddly familiar. I consciously avoided looking at it, but my eyes were drawn towards it anyway. If only Keika was more responsible and adept in hiding that from my sight. Finally reaching the washing machine, I chucked the clothes in, trying hard not to take a second glance at what were obviously Kawasaki's undergarments.

I spotted the bright pink towel that Keika was describing so animatedly at the corner of my eye, and sought to free it from its hanger. Towel in hand, I returned to the bathroom. This reminded me of the multiple times Komachi had forgotten to take her towel before diving into the showers. She would always scream at the top of her voice to catch my attention. What will my beloved Komachi do one day if I wasn't around? Speaking of which, I really should return home soon. After all, poor Komachi was home alone.

Knocking on the door of the bathroom, I faced my back to the door, not wanting any mishaps to occur. As the door creaked open behind me, I heard an ear-piercing shriek. Honestly, my ears are important, okay? First Yuigahama, then you. I need my ears to hear my dear Komachi lavish her beloved onii-chan with praise. At this rate, I would turn deaf by the time I graduated from Sobu. Now that would be a terrible fate.

Was my back really that scary? Maybe I should get a job at a haunted house instead. If all I did was to stay stationary as people approached me, it does seem like much less work than a househusband…

"Your... your towel," I replied while extending my arm backwards, still slightly shocked from the thunderous response I had just received. I retracted my arm as I felt the towel leave my hand, only for my ears to be assaulted once again, this time with the slamming of the door. What did I just say about being considerate to my precious ears?

Not wanting to waste my footsteps moving back and forth the house, I waited outside for her to finish. Since I had decided to expend my energy to help her anyway, might as well go all the way, and help her put her towel back. That way I won't owe them anything.

Stepping aside as I heard the door open once more, revealing a stunned Kawasaki in her nightwear. She was wearing a yellow singlet, which was suspended on her shoulders by two thin strips of material. It was tight fitting and certainly did not leave much to the imagination. Her substantial curves led to a slender stomach. It was not helped by the fact that her pants were of similar tightness. I came to the conclusion that Kawasaki was indeed a very gorgeous girl. The scent of lavender flooded my nose, bringing my mind back to the events of yesterday momentarily.

"You're kind of in my way." Kawasaki timidly whispered.

"Your towel," I said as I extended my arm toward her.

"Eh. EHHHH?!" Kawasaki screamed in shock, retreating back into the bathroom, covering herself with the towel. She might have stopped shivering, but she still looked extremely pale. Looks like she was really falling sick. However, that didn't affect her vocal cords, apparently.

"I'll help you put it back," I explained. I'm a prim and proper high-spec gentleman. No need to scream at me. I wasn't going to do anything funny to it.

Seemingly convinced by my explanation, she handed over her towel hesitantly.

"Go and rest, I'll get Taishi to take care of you."

She hesitated for a moment, but my eyes impressed on her that she should not argue. Walking past me, she swung her head toward the corridor, emphasising the lush, flowing azure hair of hers. This was the first time I had ever seen her without her trademark ponytail. Her hair flowed down her back, almost reaching her bottom, which I must say, looked very round indeed. Normally it was covered up by her school dress, but this time her tights only served to accentuate the curves that she had.

Stopping myself before she caught me, a difficult task in itself, I turned around and went back to the laundry room, the scent of lavender mixed with her's following me all the way.

Entering the kitchen again to take a rest, I saw Taishi slowly hand over a mug to Keika. Taishi had a surprisingly caring side to him, it seems. Still not letting him close to Komachi though, not a snowflake's chance in hell. It was up to me to protect Komachi, as it wasn't something this mere insect could do.

I recalled that Kawasaki did mention that her parents were not able to pick Kei-chan up, which was the cause behind this whole mess in the first place. It was a mess that I somehow felt obligated to solve. Looking out of the window, the storm was still relentlessly strong, and it didn't look safe at all to venture outside. I was beginning to regret parking my bike so carelessly outside.

"Taishi, when are your parents coming back?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Wait, what?

Seeing my features filled with confusion, Taishi continued and explained, "Our parents finally could take some leave from work together, so they left with the rest of our siblings to visit our relatives."

I sunk into my seat. It was now that I realised how serious the situation was. I was stuck here for the foreseeable future, Kawasaki was evidently sick, and her pair of younger siblings needed to be fed.

"Taishi, can you cook?"

"Onee-chan only lets me use the electric kettle, she's afraid that if I used the stove, I would set the house on fire or something…" Taishi looked away in shame, as if he had recalled something embarrassing. Feeling merciful, I decided not to probe further.

Weighing my limited options, I guess that I would have to cook. I haven't done it on a regular basis since I've been to high school. Since then, my precious Komachi would normally deal with those affairs. Failing which, I normally grabbed some bread from the convenience store while on the way to school. I had, however, in the past cooked rather regularly for Komachi while I was still in middle school. It was important training for a prospective house husband after all, and it was one of the few things I was proud of.

"Can you at least help me prepare the ingredients? Or did Kawasaki ban you from handling knives too?" I questioned him with a smirk.

"No, no, onii-san, I can help with that. " Taishi waved his hands in dismissal, before continuing, "But onee-chan always does it alone so…" Just when I had some hope in this pathetic insect, he crushes it on his own. What a disappointment. One day I'll crush him. Or maybe I'll get Zaimokuza to do it.

"Good. Help me get some rice out. Seeing that your onee-chan is sick, we shall cook porridge today." Taishi nodded in response and began to move.

"Sorry for intruding then," I uttered as I made my way towards the fridge to scour whatever ingredients I could find. Opening the door of the refrigerator, I found that all the packets neatly labelled with expiry dates and when they were bought. It was evidently Kawasaki's handiwork. She was such a professional at this.

Picking some carrots and minced meat, I sighed as I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. All I wanted was some hot tea and a warm place to rest my legs momentarily, how did it come to this?

After what was admittedly quite an arduous task, the porridge was finally done. My less than able assistant did not help matters at all. Smelling the porridge, Keika started to whine.

"Taa-chan, I want some too…"

Not being able to stand the noise from a small kid's high pitched voice, I immediately scooped some into a bowl and handed it over to Taishi. My ears needed a break.

"Here, go feed her."

"How about onee-chan? I think she's hungry too." Taishi looked at me for advice. Well, I can't really deal with whiny little kids, so I guess Kawasaki is the better option. Taishi can deal with annoying noises. After all, he is often a source of it himself.

Retrieving another bowl from the racks, I ladled another portion into it and went upstairs after asking Taishi for directions. Knocking gently on the door twice, I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. So this was Kawasaki Saki's room. To my left were her bookshelves and the desk where she did her work. Right next to the door was her cabinet, and further in she lay on her bed, sound asleep.

Lying on her side, facing away from me and towards the wall, she looked at peace with the world. No worries about her younger siblings, no anger towards any of a number of idiots in our class, none of that awkwardness with me. She looked all the more vulnerable, and I was about to disturb her slumber, about to wake the sleeping tiger. I grimaced at that thought. Well, I would just get this over with quickly. I was getting hungry too.

I tapped her on her shoulders, and she did not respond. Placing the bowl on her desk, I shook her with both my arms. "Wake up, Kawasaki."

For my efforts, I was once again rewarded by a shriek from Kawasaki.

"Ehhhh, what are you doing in my room?" Kawasaki recoiled meekly in horror, clutching tightly to her sheets. Her vocal cords possessed the strength that her body evidently did not.

"We made porridge, you should have some before you sleep again."

"We?"

"Taishi… and I. Don't worry. I didn't let him come anywhere close to the stove. Wouldn't trust him with it anyway."

"Taishi… and you…" She repeated. It seemed like her illness had affected her mental capacity too. Well, either that or she was just groggy from having been woken up abruptly. I waited for her to sit up.

Seeing that she wasn't moving and not wanting to waste more time, I encouraged her, "Can you sit up, so that you can eat?"

"I… I don't feel too well…" she said, putting her hands up to her forehead. Meanwhile, seeing a relatively strong girl become a figurative damsel in distress, I felt my protective instincts kick in. I offered my arm in support. She stared at my arm as if it was a weird growth, and was stunned into being a motionless statue.

Deciding that she wasn't going to move on her own accord anytime soon, I grabbed her arm and pulled her up, and with my free hand, I tucked her pillow behind her to prop up her back. Letting her lean against the bedpost, I let go of her gently.

Grabbing the bowl from the table, I brought it over to beside her bed. "Can you feed yourself?" As soon as those words left my lips, I realised that I had asked a redundant question. She looked winded and was closing her eyes in a grimace. I had no other choice then. Shovelling the porridge with the spoon, I put it in front of her. Just as I did for Komachi multiple times before, this was nothing new… right? Just a different person, forced by the circumstances.

"Open up."

Her eyes widened in surprise, but then she swept her hair back with her hands and leaned forward, taking a mouthful.

"Sorry if it doesn't taste good, I haven't cooked in a while," I said sheepishly, and it was true. I had been relying on dear Komachi for most of my meals, and she was glad to indulge me. How lucky I was, with such a brilliant younger sister. I would never let her go.

"Its… It's okay, Hikigaya," she responded, her hands covering her mouth shyly. Seeing that the spoon was now emptied, I refilled it once more from the bowl and put it in front of her once again. With every mouthful, it was getting more and more awkward, and the atmosphere was one of total silence, bar the sounds of cutlery. Normally, I wouldn't complain about silence. In fact, I loved it. No incessant, superficial chatter, just pure, peaceful silence. This silence on the other hand felt… weird, but I could find no way to fill this void. I was not an expert at filling quiet places with noise. After all, that was Yuigahama's speciality. If I stole that from her, what else could she do?

As she finished the last mouthful, my ordeal finally came to an end. Or so I thought.

"I'll go now, take care," I said, as I began to turn around, heading for the door.

I felt a tug on my sleeve, and her next few words stopped me in my tracks.

"Stay with me."

In that quiet room, there was no way I misheard what she said, despite the abuse my eardrums had taken recently. Kawasaki Saki had requested that I stay in her room. Alone with her. Even though she was evidently sick, that request came through loud and clear. There was some sort of sincerity behind it. This was some sort of request that a loner rarely makes. One where he or she demands the presence of another soul. Acknowledging the rarity of her request, and that she was sick, I had little choice but to accede to it.

Turning back around to face her, a smile peeked through her pale face, and some colour returned to her cheeks. Being sick does make people act differently indeed. I've never seen this side of Kawasaki.

"I… I'll stay till you fall asleep." I offered. It was the least I could do. With that, she finally let go of my sleeve.

Sitting down on the floor against her bed frame, I realised that this was my first real break since Kawasaki came home. I yawned as my exhaustion became to overwhelm me. I watched over her in silence as her eyelids gradually drooped, and eventually closed shut.

I slumped against the bed frame, and before I fell asleep I heard something that I never thought would come out from the lips of Kawasaki Saki.

"About that 'love ya'... I love ya too."

Too tired to process what she just said, I closed my eyes and entered a peaceful slumber.

* * *

A/N: I am extremely surprised by the response the first chapter has received, and I hope that this second installment is a worthy sequel. I have completed major planning for this fic, and am only left with minor details. Massive thanks to Bchets, Lynx and yang for the beta/proofread, as well as many others I have consulted. Last but not least, thanks to every single one of you who have read this far. Your reviews, follows and favourites have been massively encouraging. See you soon!

Katyusha.


	3. Turmoil

I woke up to a stinging pain across my back. I had fallen asleep lying on a bed frame, and my arms spread onto the bed behind me. Someone had piled a blanket on me while I was asleep. I felt a warm sensation on my right arm. Looking towards the source of the warmth, I saw that it was Kawasaki's hand who was firmly gripping onto my wrist. She was still sound asleep, her face no longer bearing the stresses present in her daily life. She looked at peace, delicate, and admittedly, very beautiful. I found myself staring, just a bit. It was not helping that with every breath she drew, her ample chest movements gave me something else to look at. I forced myself to look away before I got too mesmerised.

My eyes took in the unfamiliar surroundings I found myself in. Mild panic began to set in as my eyes landed on a clock. It was eight in the morning. I had somehow slept the whole night away. And it was a Thursday. My brain gradually sputtered to life and updated itself on the events that had just occurred. I had just spent the whole night sleeping alone with Kawasaki. In her room. And she was still holding tightly onto my wrist. I had to get out of here before anyone noticed.

Recalling that I had left my bag downstairs in the kitchen, I plotted my escape route. But first, I had to free my right arm from the restraint that was Kawasaki. Gently prying her smooth, slender fingers from my arm, I freed myself from her grip.

Stealthily sneaking towards the door, I opened it gently, only to realise that my plan has been foiled by a particular insect. For some reason, he had picked this exact moment to leave his room, and he immediately saw me as I poked my head out of the room.

"Good morning, onii-san!"

This wasn't good. I have been spotted. However, not wanting to be a rude guest, I responded with a greeting of my own.

"Good morning, Taishi. Has the snowstorm cleared? I should head home now."

"Onii-san, you should stay for breakfast. School is cancelled anyway. The roads are still quite clogged up from the snow."

Breakfast? Was I going to cook again? This sneaky bugger sure is great at giving me more work. What a scheming little insect this one is.

"It's okay, Taishi. I shouldn't keep Komachi waiting, and I really need to take a bath." Indeed, I desperately needed one. I caught a whiff of myself, and it didn't smell great. It had been a whole day since my last bath after all.

"But…" Taishi responded, only to be interrupted by the doorbell. I wondered who would be visiting the Kawasaki household at such an early hour. Then I recalled what Taishi told me last afternoon.

" _Taishi, when are your parents coming back?"_

" _Tomorrow morning."_

Tomorrow morning had arrived, and so had their parents. So this was why this lad decided to leave his room. His parents were back, and he had planned to go and receive them.

"My parents are friendly, and they already know you are here. I texted them last night after all." Taishi preemptively assuaged my concerns as he disappeared down the staircase. There was no way I was going to sneak out now, was there? I had left too many traces of my existence around the house. My bicycle, my backpack… Realising it was futile and ditching the idea of climbing out of the kitchen window, I followed Taishi's footsteps with a sigh. Human interaction at such an early hour. What a wonderful day this is already shaping up to be.

"Good morning, papa, mama, Welcome home!" Taishi greeted as he opened the door. I was still fumbling down the stairs, still plagued with the slight grogginess that always afflicted me right after I woke up.

The corridor went silent as I felt multiple pairs of eyes lay their gaze on me.

"Good morning, Sir, Ma'am." Kawasaki's parents were at the doorstep, and I greeted them so that they would not stare at me any longer. It was also basic courtesy. Kawasaki's dad was well built, and a friendly face sat atop his broad shoulders. He looked like the typical Japanese corporate slave, really. Kawasaki's mom, on the other hand, was a beauty, even in her age. She had short, but lush hair, and it was obvious that the younger Kawasaki had inherited most of her beauty, especially those gorgeous eyes of hers.

"Ahh, you must be the gentleman who stayed over and helped us take care of the children. We heard from Tai-chan. Thank you so much." Finally, someone recognised my high spec ability in being a gentleman. I did not expect it to come from the head of the Kawasaki household though.

"It's nothing much really, I couldn't leave due to the storm anyway. Sorry for imposing on you." I politely replied. He was, after all, an elder.

"Come, join us for breakfast. It's the least we could do." Kawasaki-san grinned at me, gesturing toward the kitchen.

"It's… It's okay. I shouldn't leave my family waiting, and I really need a shower." Komachi! How could I forget? I had left her all alone, and by this time my parents had probably left for work anyways. Such is the sad life of corporate slaves. Even when the weather is deemed too terrible for students, they still must slave away. That is why I'll work hard and make sure my future spouse will never need to work another day! To work is to lose! Wait, why does that sound different from what I normally say?

Before Kawasaki-san could reply, a growl erupted from within me. My stomach was groaning for food. Indeed, it had been quite a while since I fed myself. The last meal I had was lunch the previous day.

Admitting defeat, I shuffled into the kitchen. As if he sensed my apprehension, Kawasaki-san assured me with a pat on my back, "Don't worry, we bought enough for you too."

As we took our seats at the table, I could not feel more alone. I was, after all, an outsider among them. This felt different from the usual situations in school. It felt… different. The situation could not feel more awkward. Or so I thought.

"So, I heard that you helped take care of Saki-chan? She is such a hardworking daughter... she takes cares of her siblings so well and we could never thank her enough. I'm glad she has friends like you. Thank you so much." It seemed that the entire Kawasaki household had the ability to smile extremely well. Except for the eldest daughter of course. She would only scowl at me if I ever came close to threatening Taishi, get flustered over the small things, or… whatever it was she showed me last evening. If only she smiled a bit more.

"It's… nothing much, I just did what I should do." I was getting a little too much praise and thanks now. I could feel my cheeks warming up slightly.

"So, did you sleep well last night? In fact, where did you sleep?" My eyes lit up the moment I heard the question.

"I… I fell asleep in the living room." I lied. Her parents definitely did not need to know that I had spent the night sleeping inches away from their precious daughter, her warm fingers wrapped around my arm.

Sensing that Taishi was about to speak up and reveal the truth, I gave him a sidelong stare. Thankfully, my dead fish eyes still maintained its potency and Taishi remained quiet. How great it is to have a wonderful repertoire of 108 skills.

By now the food was distributed, and the smell had awoken my already famished stomach. I duly demolished my portion. Getting up and placing my utensils in the sink, I thanked them for the meal before leaving.

Stepping out into the outside once more, I could sense that the weather had indeed become much milder. The skies had cleared, and the winter sun was actually providing some warmth. Mounting my trusty steed, I finally proceeded on my short journey back home.

I was finally alone. As usual, my thoughts began to keep me company. The last day was a whirlwind, and I could not begin to entirely process what happened. For now, all I needed was a hot shower.

Before long, I reached my destination, one that I should have reached many hours ago. My home.

Fishing out the keys from my wallet, I let myself in.

"I'm home."

Komachi burst into the corridor and came to greet me.

Before I could apologise for not being home the previous night, Komachi sprang a question on me that I would never have expected.

"Welcome back, onii-chan! Is Komachi going to be an aunt soon? Ahhh I can't wait!" She was bubbly. Way too bubbly, given the time. Why was she so excited? Her imagination knows no bounds, it seems.

"Nothing happened, Komachi, she was sick, and I took care of her, that is all."

"Ohhh, so taking care of Kawasaki-san includes falling asleep together in the same room? How caring of you, onii-san", Komachi said mockingly.

"N-nothing happened. I was too tired and I fell asleep, that's it." I could feel my cheeks reddening. It was obvious what Komachi was implying, but I was not going to acknowledge it. Middle school students nowadays were scary. What do they even teach in class nowadays?

"Aww, what a disappointment you are, Onii-chan. I thought that you finally made a move."

"Wait… how do you know we slept together?" I winced as the words left my mouth, for the awkward phrasing had left little room for misinterpretation. This could turn nasty very quickly. I really hoped that my parents weren't home. Wait, why was I so concerned anyway? I didn't do anything wrong.

"Taishi-kun texted me you know, I was so worried about you… Also, who did you think it was who put the blanket over you while you were sound asleep?"

It looks like I had wrongly classified that insect. In fact, it looks like he was more like a snake. I would need to neutralise him before he sunk his fangs into Komachi. Furthermore, he now knew something that the rest of the world should never hear about. Yet another reason to get rid of him. One fine day….

"Thank you, Komachi, for being so worried about me…" I was slightly ashamed of myself. I forced Komachi to contact that snake because she was worried about me. Komachi is the best imouto I could ever have.

"Onii-chan, what's with that expression? It's creeping me out you know…." Komachi recoiled slightly in mock disgust. At least I think it was an act. No way my beloved Komachi is actually disgusted with me right?

"Anyway, onii-chan, you should bathe. You really stink." Komachi said as she brought her hand to her nose while waving the other in front of her. Now that really hurts me, my dear imouto. I didn't have a choice okay? I really needed a bath though.

Finally, as the warm streaks of water flowed over my body. I found some much needed solace.

I began to recall the events that had transpired the previous day.

The snowstorm. Bringing Taishi back here in the bitter cold. Kawasaki falling sick. Cooking for the first time in ages. Feeding her because she was sick. Then as I fell asleep… those words. Words that I never thought would be directed at me. Definitely not from her.

I left the bath, wiped myself down and changed into my home clothes. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I decided that I have had sufficient sleep, and so I went to rest in the living room. Komachi had disappeared, presumably into her room, leaving me all alone.

Usually, this was a time I could relax and waste the hours away. Increasingly rare these days, it seemed. However, despite the peace and quiet in the room, it was quite the different case within my head. I was thinking of the same thing ever since I left for home.

Those words. Those words that Kawasaki had uttered as we both fell asleep.

Those words definitely meant something. Surely, it was directed at me. No one else was in her room at that time after all. Or was she dreaming? Surely not, for she had just closed her eyes. Her tone, on the other hand, definitely made it sound intentional. It was a declaration, a confession right?

I looked up at the ceiling and released a sigh.

Going by the assumption that it was a declaration of that nature, why would she harbour such feelings? Drawing into the immense reserves of excellent brain power that I possessed, I recalled our first interactions. Thanks, in no small part I must mention, to that sneaky snake.

It was Taishi who raised the request. It was one of the first few requests of the club, back in summer. Seeing that his sister was spending way too many nights outside, he got concerned. Sneakily telling Komachi about it, I was eventually forced to intervene.

She was working hard so that she did not need to burden her family. Attending the cram school that would definitely help in her goal to qualify for university, but she also had to find a way to pay for it. This led to her taking up the job at that luxurious bar that charged nearly a 1000 yen for a single serving of ginger ale. My wallet would never let me forget that. In fact, I sometimes bumped into her at the cram school, but we would never do more than exchange a few words before she retreated to her corner of the classroom.

She was scary back then. So much scarier than she was now. Back then, her eyes would bore through anything but the thickest armour. Or Yukinoshita. She was one of the few that ever dared stare her down, and not lose. Nowadays she had become more tame, especially around me. I wonder why. If this continued, maybe one day, I can finally squish that snake. Anyways, it meant that I no longer was at the end of her fiery stares. I'm thankful for that.

In that McDonalds at five in the morning, I introduced her to my get rich quick scheme: a scholarship. It seemed such an obvious solution to her problems, but for a smart girl like her, she somehow neglected to see that. With that, her issues were mainly solved, and she no longer needed to work part-time overnight. She softened after that, no longer attempting to kill me with her stares. I wonder why.

Undoubtedly, Kawasaki herself was thankful as well. Obviously, she wouldn't say it in front of anyone else. No loner would. It was a sign of weakness. A sign of depending on someone else. The moment one did that, he or she was no longer a loner. Was this why she felt any sort of affection towards me? For that assistance I had rendered? Maybe she felt some sort of indebtedness towards me, and that she must do something to repay me for it. However, all I did was only to provide assistance, as required of my role as a member of the service club.

Maybe, it was because we are both loners that she feels closer to me than others. As such, we understand each other on a level that mere riajuus cannot. This similarity inevitably led to her thinking that we are closer that we actually are. That must be it. None of this was genuine, merely a host of coincidences forcing us together, forcing us to interact. Based on this, her confession of sorts must have been misguided. There was so space for such a thing between us. After all, that is the path of a loner.

This was all about how she feels, and I think that it was misguided from the start. My feelings don't matter much, I don't think. Not in this case. Not really getting anywhere, I must analyse this from the start.

I thought about what exactly it was that she said once more.

 _"About that 'love ya'... I love ya too."_

That implied that I once mentioned those words to her before. Trying hard to recall when I did so, my memories surfaced. It was back during the culture festival, when I was desperate to find Sagami, who had irresponsibly disappeared without a trace. Wanting to express my thanks to her, as I did to Zaimokuza, I uttered those words.

She was very helpful, as it turned out. That very stairwell led me to find that useless bitch, who was shying away, waiting for someone to find her so that she could feel better about herself. I'm thankful that I no longer have to deal with her. At least I hoped so.

Kawasaki is a smart girl, after all, she definitely got what I meant back then, right? Given her decent grades, she definitely had the inference skills to deduce that I was thankful. Her response yesterday was merely to thank me. That must be it. Who on earth would fall for me anyway? I gave myself a mental pat on the back for solving this. In fact, there was no problem. After all, I was merely overthinking matters.

"Onii-chan, what are you thinking about?" Komachi leaned over the sofa, and looked at me quizzically, derailing whatever was left of my train of thoughts. She was too cute and caring to be ignored.

"Nothing much, really," I reply dismissively. I wasn't about to let Komachi know that I was indeed, thinking about a girl. I would never hear the end of it from her.

"Ohhh, really? Then why was it that you didn't reply when I asked if you wanted some MAXX?" Komachi teasingly said and she handed me an ice-cold can of liquid diabetes. It was so sweet but so good. As the brilliant taste of MAXX coffee filled my mouth, what Komachi said next nearly made me choke.

"By the way, Yui-san called last night. She was concerned if you got caught out in the storm."

Barely regaining my composure, and wiping some of the MAXX coffee that might have leaked out, I replied. "And what did you tell her?"

"Well, I told her that you were at Taishi-kun's house, and you weren't picking up."

Just as I thought I could finally get some rest, I now had to quell the fire that was Yuigahama. Leaping from the sofa, I grudgingly went to dig for my phone. I was not about to let the airhead draw her own conclusions from what Komachi said. To think that my own lovely Komachi would betray me like this…

Finding my phone lying on the table where I last left it, I scrolled to the bottom of my contact list and called Yuigahama.

"Yahallo, Hikki!" Luckily for me, I had expected that the Yuigacannon could launch electronic blasts as well, and I had placed my phone an adequate distance from my tender ears. Her voice still came through loud and clear.

"Yo." I gave my trademark greeting. Short, and effective. Much unlike my inner monologues. Wanting to keep the phone call short, I continued, "I'm home now. I heard from Komachi that you called yesterday. I'm fine. I just got snowed in and I stayed over."

"Ahhh, glad to hear that you are fine now… see you tomorrow in school, Hikki." Did she just voluntarily end a conversation? I never thought that this day would come. Maybe she finally sensed that I was not a man of many words. Even she can learn.

"Goodbye, Yuigahama." With that, I ended the call. There, no space for misunderstandings, right?

"That was very suspicious of you, onii-chan. Why, do you have something to hide from Yui-san?" Komachi gave me a cheeky smirk. Just how much did Taishi tell her? I was getting afraid now…

Sensing the awkward silence that had now filled the living room, Komachi decided to destroy it in the worst way possible.

"So, did you hold her hand, or did she hold yours?" Komachi smiled devilishly, reminding me of a certain cunning kouhai that I had. I felt an unnatural warmth in my cheeks as her question surfaced the memories I had just buried at the back of my head.

It was going to be a long day ahead, and I was trapped in the house with my lovely sister that I could not ignore.

* * *

My alarm clock woke me up with a bang. It was Friday. Unfortunately, the snow cleared out sufficiently yesterday, and I had to go back to school once more. As I got dressed and headed out of my room, I was greeted with silence. My parents had disappeared early in the morning, as usual. Komachi, presumably, had left the house too. Normally she would wait for me, but not today.

For the first time in many years, I had argued with her yesterday. She kept on peppering me with questions about the evening prior. I'm not sure what that snake told her, but it definitely had poisoned her thoughts dangerously. I had come to my own conclusion on the events of that evening, and her constant questions and teasing finally got too much. I snapped at her. Never had I raised my voice at her, but I did so yesterday. With that, my words became lethal weapons, and they silenced her for good. She retreated to her room, slamming the door on the way in. Getting frustrated from the thoughts that were filling my head, I decided to distract myself by spending some needed time with Vita-chan. It was a free day off school anyway. We had not exchanged a single word since.

Walking down the stairs and into the dining room, I saw my breakfast lying on the table. Looks like Komachi still bothered to make one, despite what happened last night. It was omurice with some leftover chicken from yesterday's dinner. Typically, she would draw a big red heart with ketchup over the omelette, but today there was no such art. I guess I couldn't ask for more, right? At least there was something to eat.

Getting to school was a typical affair, but it was without Komachi for half the way, hence it did feel a bit quiet. We would have to fix that eventually. However, before we could get to that, I had to grind through what was bound to be yet another measly, torturous winter day back in school.

Once again, it was Hiratsuka-sensei standing in between me and the sweet release from prison. As she wrapped up her lecture, she began to go on a tangent. I groaned internally.

"As you all should know, Kawasaki is not with us today. Would anyone be so kind as to help me bring her homework to her house? I'll owe you a drink, of course." Sensei offered, winking at the end of the sentence. While she was evidently still young at heart, she definitely was not getting any younger. Please don't do it anymore sensei, it looks embarrassing.

Indeed, Kawasaki did not turn up to school today, and for some reason, I felt slightly glad. Not that I was happy that she was still sick, but because well, I didn't really want to see her. I didn't want her to feel more indebted to me than she already was.

Anyway, who would be stupid enough to volunteer? It was only a drink, and the effort required to get that drink was definitely not worth it. I let out a sigh, knowing that no one would be foolish enough to take up this unequal deal and that she would only drag on the lesson past its scheduled time. Again. If only sensei remembered the importance of punctuality, especially in a society like ours. Maybe this was why no one was willing to marry her.

The class understandably reacted to this new development by shooting their mouths away, and the most common consensus was that no one even knew where Kawasaki lived. That in itself was unsurprising, as she was never close to anyone in the class, not close enough for them to have visited her house anyway. She, much like me, had always kept to herself, and no one bothered her.

Lo and behold, my thoughts were shattered by the rumbling of the loose cannon situated diagonally behind me. Yuigahama Yui had decided to speak up. What an idiot! Was she going to offer her assistance?

Standing up and getting the attention of the whole class, she puffed her already generous chest outwards and proclaimed, "Sensei, Hikki knows where she lives!"

I turned around and looked at her in shock as her fingers pointed squarely at me. What the fuck? Did this bitch just gleefully throw me off a cliff? How is she still smiling? Seems like Isshiki's virus has spread to her. Poor me. Girls are scary beings. I would never want anything to do with them. And she was supposed to be a nice one. There is no justice on this earth.

Sensei's chuckle brought my attention to the front of the classroom once more. Her eyes were gleaming with a mixture of excitement and hope, and it instilled an immense fear within me. It was as if I was held hostage by that smirk alone. It's no wonder that nobody could stay around her long enough before being scared out of their wits.

That was how I ended up with an extra pile of papers on my desk to carry around. With sensei being how she is, there was no way I could reject her. I wasn't one of her suitors after all. Furthermore, I was not going to let myself get punched in the gut. Poor Komachi would be grief stricken if she saw her beloved onii-chan in such a state. Speaking of which, I should text her to inform her that I would be slightly late. Despite what happened yesterday, she is still my one and only Komachi. Maybe I could dump the papers on Taishi, he can be the pack mule for the bumper harvest of homework we received today. That would definitely solve the problem. I'm not a fan of being cheap labour. In fact, I'm not a fan of any labour at all.

Taking my phone out from my pocket, I see that I had received a message from that one girl that was the source of all of this trouble.

 _Hikigaya, can you please help me pick up Taishi again? Sorry for the trouble. Also, We need to talk._

I was in denial, and so I read the message once more. Surely not, she did not just ask me to do it again right? That last sentence did not bode well. I've read enough mangas and seen enough dramas to know that it was not going to be a pleasant experience.

Of course, there also was the issue of that burden. Not only did I have to carry the extra weight from the papers, I now had to make that detour. Again. This day was getting from bad to worse. I sincerely hoped that it did not get even worse from here on. Did I just curse myself?

After sending Komachi a short text, I sighed as I left the classroom and made my journey towards her school. Thankfully, the weather had begun to return to normal, and it was becoming the mild winter that I knew and loved about Chiba.

As the pair of them leisurely strolled out of the gate, I was once again filled with hatred towards that snake, who was getting way too close to my dear Komachi. I wish he would stop poisoning her. I decided that I must put a stop to it. As such, I would talk to Komachi about a topic where he can't possibly butt in. I'm such a genius.

After we exchanged our usual greetings, I decided to make my move.

"Komachi, about yesterday…" I was still struggling for words. It was, after all, such a rare occurrence.

"It's okay, onii-chan. I took it slightly too far. I should have been more considerate towards an outcast like you… teehee!" As she finished speaking, she gave me the brightest smile in the universe. How unfair of her. There was no way I couldn't forgive her when she did that. I gently rustled her hair as she looked up at me. All is fine now, I guess. Our bond was way too strong for something so trivial to break it apart. Watch and learn, Taishi, for you will never achieve anything close to this with Komachi. Not on my watch.

Ever the insensitive, meddling annoyance, Taishi decided that this was the best time to open that large trap of his. "Onii-san, I'm sorry too, Komachi kept asking me all those questions and I just…" He voice tapered off, as did his bravery. It seems that the King Cobra had become a mere tree snake. Stop trying to suck up to me, you are barking up the wrong tree, really. It's a hopeless cause trying to convince me. At least he knew he was a snake though, so I guess that's some progress.

Seeing that I had gone silent with my inner thoughts, Taishi once more began conversing with Komachi. My plan to interrupt them had failed, or had it? Instead of conversing with Komachi, I would instead talk to Taishi. That would work.

"So, Taishi, how is your sister doing? She rarely skips school." It was true, even on the days when she used to work overnight, she would still turn up to school, even if she wasn't punctual. Such was her dedication to learning and getting herself to university.

Seemingly happy for me to have initiated a conversation with him, his face lit up with joy as he answered, "Ahh, she's feeling much better now, but our parents forbade her from leaving the house today. She rarely falls sick, you see."

"Ahh, that's great to hear." The memories of yesterday began to resurface, the most prominent of which was obviously the more than friendly bodily contact that she had initiated. I guess that everyone has different sleeping habits, and who am I to judge?

I arduously carried on with the awkward conversation, which mainly focused on me trying to convince him that aiming for Sobu High might not be the best option for him after all. It was totally coincidental that Komachi was aiming for it, and that I was quite confident that she would be able to pass. Without a snake by her side, she might even be able to outperform me. Well, she already did in math, but that is an entirely different matter.

Thankfully, we soon turned onto the street that the Kawasaki household lived. Finally, my ordeal was coming to an end, and I could spend some precious alone time with Komachi once again, free from the venomous snake. Taking out the worksheets that sensei had unceremoniously dumped on my table from my bag, I passed them to Taishi.

"Here, it's for your sister."

"Onii-san, why don't you come in?" Taishi invited. This time, although the cold was biting at my fingertips, I was not on the verge of freezing to death, so I decided to decline the offer.

However, before I could reply, Komachi cut in. "I haven't seen Taishi's house! Let's go inside, onii-chan." There was no chance I was going to refuse the request of my beloved Komachi. I sighed as we headed inside.

"Onee-chan, I'm home!" Taishi bellowed. Within moments, Kawasaki peeked out into the corridor and responded. Wait, was she waiting to pounce the moment Taishi returned? What a dedicated brocon. Taishi soon scuttled up the stairs, bringing Komachi with him. Hey, since when did I allow you to take my precious Komachi away? I'll get you for it later.

This left me alone with Kawasaki in the hallway. Colour had returned to her features, and she definitely looked more alive then she was last morning. So alive in fact, that her cheeks were a slight tinge of red. Realising that my hands were still clutching onto her homework, I passed them over to her.

"Here, today's homework. Sensei requested that I bring them over."

"Thank you." She took the stack of papers into her arms before continuing, "about that night…" Her voice trailed off, and I remembered the last part of her text earlier. I wonder what she wanted to talk to me about. It seems that she was surprisingly thankful for what I did.

She began to hug the papers tightly, and she looked straight at me with those stunning eyes of hers, her face full of determination. I had not seen her being so serious before. "Did you hear what I said?" Oh. That. Those words that had bothered me so much yesterday.

I nodded in response.

Taking a deep breath, she continued, "We… We need to clarify what's between us. Our… our relationship."

Wait… what? Wasn't she just thanking me before she fell asleep? Surely she was, at least, that was the conclusion that I had come to yesterday. Confusion filled my mind, and it evidently showed on my features, as she continued, "It's… it's okay if you need more time."

"Yea… I do." And I did. At this point, I was rather confused as to what was going on. It looks like I needed even more time to think. Surely the monster of logic did not give me an incorrect conclusion… right?

* * *

Our relationship. What did she mean? Obviously she mean the interpersonal relationship, the interactions we had over the school year, and over the past few days. What was it that she wanted to clarify? We were classmates, and we occasionally helped each other when the need arose. All we had in common was that our younger siblings often met and that we were both loners.

We were loners in a sad and terrible world where being one was frowned upon, but I believe for both of us it's a choice, rather than a sign of weakness. We chose not to interact with others. Those insignificant riajuus, whose main aim in class seemed to be chasing after such superficial interactions, to act as if they were popular, on top of the world, superior to those who did not have as many connections as them. But this was not what I sought, and I presume Kawasaki had similar thoughts. We were the superior beings, who saw through such charades and decided not to participate in them.

What did she mean though? Does she mean that she saw us as more than just classmates? As friends, or even something beyond that? Sure, I guess you could say that we share some kind of bond and a level of mutual understanding as outcasts from our cruel society, but as friends? That was unlikely. Thinking about this logically and taking my past experiences as a reference, my own overtures for friendship have been constantly turned down by a certain Yukinoshita.

I winced as I recalled further back and reminded myself of the one time I had decided to attempt furthering a relationship with a girl beyond mere friendship. As much as I would hate to admit it, that experience had definitely scarred me. The feeling of rejection. The despair, the pain, and how there was no one I could turn to. It was all part and parcel of how I came to be the way I am today. It is an undeniable fact that what happened in the past had shaped me to be how I am today, and the actions I take in the present and the events that happened to me would then affect how I am in the future.

So, what is Kawasaki to me? Is she an acquaintance, or did I feel that there was a possibility of something deeper? Would I consider her a friend? Does she consider me a friend? What did we even need to clarify in the first place? The more I thought about it, the more confused I am. This is why I hate dealing with people. Everyone is so complicated, so confusing, always hiding behind facades. Why doesn't anyone just tell me what they mean straight to my face?

It would take a long time before I came to any sort of conclusion. Thankfully, the weekends were upon us, and I would have much precious time to myself, away from the meddling enigma that was other people. Throwing these thoughts aside for now, I dug up Vita-chan and engrossed myself in the virtual world that was much less confusing.

* * *

The weekend had zoomed past quickly in a flurry of games and homework. My brief respite from school was over almost as soon as it began, and I was once again seated at my desk in classroom 2F. At least the weather was pleasant today, and it seemed like it would continue for the rest of the week. This meant that I no longer had to stay in the classroom during lunch. That was a plus. Lunch would begin in a couple of moments, and it was not Hiratsuka-sensei teaching, so that meant that we had a teacher who actually could tell the time.

The bell rang, and as the sensei left the classroom, the numerous cliques began to form their own respective herds. It was a ritual that was repeated every break time. The betas would flock to the alphas, and they would pretend to like each other and converse about nothing but the most superficial topics. Not wanting to witness this ritual, I started to walk out of the classroom, as planned. As I stood up, Kawasaki did the same. I guess that she would like to go to her favourite spot: the rooftop. It was getting noisy in the classroom anyway. As I walked down the stairwell towards the cafeteria, I noticed that she was not heading up the stairs as I thought she would be. Our eyes made brief contact as I looked back towards her. Looks like I have been spotted. After all, I still owed her a reply. That must be it.

She caught up to me and uttered something incoherent. It was lunchtime, and the stairwell was filled with a hungry horde of students moving toward the cafeteria. It was difficult to discern what she was trying to tell me. Lip reading, unfortunately, was not one of my 108 skills. As such, I told her to speak up.

She got flustered for a moment, her cheeks reddening slightly. It was becoming a familiar sight, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. All I did was to ask her to raise her volume slightly. I hoped that it was because she was indeed too soft, and not that my ears wer suffering from the long term effects of sitting next to the Yuigacannon erupt day after day, time and time again.

Instead of repeating what she had said, she instead decided on a ridiculous move. She grabbed my wrist _again_ and charged down the stairs, pulling me along with her. It seems that she did not know that it is dangerous to run down the stairs, especially with her head facing downwards as she was doing. Her actions reminded me of a certain sneaky kouhai. Did she steal a page from her playbook? This epidemic of Isshikitis was really spreading. I need to contain it before it spreads even further. Unlike her soft, soothing grip that morning, her hands were tightened around mine like a vice, and it was beginning to hurt. I was once again reminded of the fate that awaited me if I failed to dispose of Taishi properly before she found out.

As she dashed down the corridor with me in her tow, we were garnering quite the audience. She was breaking the school rules, and running through the hallways in such a manner was definitely going to attract some attention.

She finally slowed down after reaching a deserted part of the school. Coincidentally, it was quite close to where I had intended to go in the first place, but I had no bread or drink. She swung me towards a corner. She finally let go of me as she paused to catch her breath. She was way too close. Dangerously close. Her scent was overwhelming my nostrils, and I had nowhere to retreat.

"Let's… let's eat lunch together." No wonder she didn't want to repeat it loudly in the midst of a crowd. It would be bad if others misheard… what if they mistook us for a couple? No wonder Kawasaki took this path of action. But why did she want to spend her lunchtime with me?

"Why? I need to get something from the cafeteria too…"

"There's no need for that." She gestured towards her bento, which was way too large for one person to consume. No way. "I made this. It's for helping me last week. Especially… the meal." Kawasaki's gratitude knew no bounds it seems. Why did she mention that meal again though, the more I think about it, the more awkward it got. I gratefully accepted the offer. Who said that there was no free lunch in this world must have been joking. I wasn't really swimming in cash anyway, not after spending most of my allowance sending Komachi back home on that taxi.

I led her to my secret hideout spot, away from the crowds, and extremely quiet. My kind of place. I guess it was a fair exchange for her food, and having previously intruded into her own spot, the rooftop. We were even now, I guess.

We sat down opposite one another and she began to uncover the bento. Some of the food had slid to one side, smashed against the walls of its compartments. Well, we were running pretty fast down the stairs anyway.

"Sorry, it became like this…" It seemed that the slightly timid Kawasaki had returned, and she was looking embarrassed with a tinge of… sadness?

"It's okay, I'm sure it still tastes good anyway." She definitely was highly advanced in those skills. After all, from what I have learnt, she was definitely a good cook. Indeed, I should learn from her if I were to be a decent househusband in the future.

"Thanks… I guess." Her cheek reddened as looked away from me. Looks like Kawasaki wasn't used to being praised. How humble of her. Well, it's not surprising, given that the younger brother of hers is a snake and Keika was still way too young to appreciate what she does.

She handed over a pair of chopsticks and we began to dig in. She was looking at me with every bite I took. It was getting slightly creepy, to be honest. I was very much used to consuming my lunch alone, and having someone stare at me while I was eating was a new experience. However, I was thankful for the free lunch and her kindness, so I didn't comment on it. It would be rude to bite back at the hand that fed me, and in this case, it was quite literal. Despite being a loner, I still knew and respected certain societal norms. I wasn't that much of a scumbag, as some might believe.

We continued to eat in silence, as neither of us were the type who would fill the silence with noise just for the sake of it. We both enjoyed the benefits of silence. I smiled in satisfaction as I finished the meal. It was way better than yakisoba bread, and dare I say, better than Komachi's own creations. For once, I was envious of Taishi. He could enjoy this every day. Unlike me.

"Thank you for the meal, Kawasaki." I was a polite gentleman, and my manners were befitting of that. My mouth was getting a bit dry, and I thought of getting a drink. Since I was going to the vending machine anyway, I decided to offer my assistance to her. "Is there anything you want?"

"Your answer." Wait… I was asking for an answer, why are you asking me for my answer? Oh. That. The talk about our "relationship". One that I had conveniently tried to forget over the weekend.

Taking into consideration our interactions over the past week, we were definitely no longer mere acquaintances. Spending time with her was admittedly rather enjoyable, as I was not being shouted at by her, much unlike the Yuigacannon. I never felt hurt nor insulted by her words, much unlike Yukinoshita, who constantly threw nothing but cold, merciless insults my way. By the way, she was the one who rejected my kind offer of being a friend. Lastly, unlike that kouhai I rather not name, she pulled me aside not for manual labour, but for food.

I decided to give her a response that I felt was adequate.

"I guess… we are friends?"

She looked straight at me, tears welling up in those beautiful eyes of hers. She looked like she had just been stabbed in the heart. Then she dashed off, away from where we had spent our lunchtime together, from my secret spot. Those tears definitely did not look like tears of joy, they looked like those of sorrow and hurt. What have I done?

I've made a girl cry.

My feet remained rooted to the ground. The cold, aloof and sometimes scary Kawasaki Saki was running down the corridor in tears, and I was to blame.

* * *

A/N: Before I hide behind a wall to protect myself from all the angry reviews that are sure to come, I would like to take the opportunity to thank SouBU and yang for helping with the beta/proofread, and all of you who have read this. Never in my wildest expectations did I dream of breaking 100 follows and faves, but you all have done it. Thank you. As for those asking about my update schedule, I'm _trying_ to keep to a weekly one, but no promises. Updates on progress will be on my profile, so do check that if you are curious. As always, all feedback is welcome, so do keep the reviews coming. I hope to see you soon.

Katyusha.


	4. Epiphany

**Saki POV**

It was the first time I ever tried to fight for something I myself truly wanted. The day had arrived, and I finally uttered those words I had been trying to hold back.

I recall grabbing his slightly rough but warm arm, but I wanted much, much more.

I desire him. I want to smother those lips of his, to hug and hold him close, and to never ever let go. I want him so bad. I would be lying if I claimed that I never fantasize about him. I am, after all, a teenage girl. But my feelings go far beyond that. I see him as a dependable companion, as a partner. Someone whom, honestly, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. He's far above anyone I've ever met.

I decided to take my fate in my own hands, to control my own destiny. I couldn't take back those words I had uttered, and I wasn't going to. They were, after all, my true feelings. I could sense that he was like me, always annoyed by those around us who keep facades for the sake of keeping facades, so I decided to tell him what I felt in the most direct manner I could. No way the one who is ranked third in Japanese level wide could have misinterpreted my words, right?

I became afraid when I woke up. He was no longer by my side, and I was waiting for a reply which I could only hope for. It was, after all, out of my hands now. The ball was in his court. I pushed for it once more when he came over. He was stunned, and I guess he needed more time. And so I did.

I wanted to spend more time with him, and I used the events of the past few days as an excuse. I had wanted to ask him at the beginning of the day when there weren't many people around, but I couldn't summon the courage. Knowing that he would leave the class for lunch whenever he could, I decided to wait for that instead.

I had wanted to follow him discreetly, but with the sidelong glances he threw at me, I knew that I had been spotted, for his footsteps had stopped. I moved up alongside him and made my request. Then I did that embarrassing thing that I would rather not think about.

As much as I would have liked to keep it in, my heart couldn't take it anymore. I wanted an answer, no, I needed an answer.

His answer hit me like a knife stabbing through my heart. It really, really hurt. Tears flowed from my eyes and streaked down my cheeks. Looking at the man who was the cause of all this for one last time, I bolted away. I couldn't take it anymore. I had prepared myself for such an eventuality. Even then, nothing could have fully prepared me for when my fears came true. Even now, tears nestle at the corner of my eyes as I think of this.

I hated all of this. This was never who I wanted to be. I had to help my parents take care of my siblings since I was young. I was, after all, the eldest. Don't get me wrong, I love my siblings very much, and I still do. However, it came at a heavy cost. I could never ever join in the fun with everyone. After school, I used to get invites to hang out, but I had to turn them down, to be the responsible daughter I was forced to be. Eventually, the invitations died down, and before long they stopped entirely.

It was so difficult to turn them down. Every time they would approach me with an expression full of hope, but I had to be the villain. I had to turn them down. Eventually, I discovered that it was simply much easier to scare them off before they even tried to approach me. That way, no one would have any hurt feelings. It wasn't that I chose to be a loner, I was merely more selective of who I wanted to spend my time with, and unfortunately, even that was a luxury given my circumstances.

I had sacrificed immensely for the sake of my beloved siblings, but am I selfish in wanting something for myself? It was an unfair burden to carry, and I definitely didn't wish that anyone else needed to shoulder it, but I just wanted someone who would understand me, whom I could depend upon, and I saw it in him.

Was this too much to ask for?

I really thought he was the one, but now I realise how naive I was. I expected him to change for me, and my perceptions of him were evidently glorified, or were they? Was it really too much for me to have the one thing I truly desire?

This cruel world is so unfair.

* * *

 **Hachiman POV**

I rode away from school, and I once again set forth to fetch Komachi. This time, I was alone. Much like the past few days. But as the cold bit at my exposed cheeks, I felt lonely, for Kawasaki was not with me. She had disappeared immediately after the bell rang. Somehow she had managed to pack her belongings faster than me, and she was gone by the time I looked up. As I approached the bike stand, I could see that her bike was already long gone. I had wanted to wait for her, but it looks like she had other plans of her own.

What have I done?

I offered her my friendship, and she ran away in tears. Those beautiful eyes contorted by pain. The tears that began to flow down her cheeks as she ran past me. I was shocked, confused, and… worried?

Yet, my feet refused to move. I could only stare at her bouncing ponytail as she disappeared down the corridor at full speed, her face half buried in her arms.

Her sudden display of emotions shocked me. She was never one to exhibit her emotions openly, but this time she did so emphatically. It was as if she couldn't hold it back anymore. She looked like she was about to break.

When I returned to the classroom much later, Kawasaki was already in her seat, burying herself in a textbook. Surprisingly, there was some commotion when I entered the classroom. Typically, no one bothered about my entrance. Most of the class doesn't care about me anyway, and I certainly did not need a greeting from Yuigahama everytime I entered.

Deciding that clouding myself with such thoughts while cycling would cause me to crash, I banished them to the back of my mind, for now. I was sure that they would resurface again. What a taxing day this was going to be. Luckily, Komachi would be able to cheer me up. She is the best sister I could ever have asked for. Speaking of which, I had once again arrived at her school.

Komachi walked out alone from the gates, and for once Taishi was not following alongside her. Did someone finally get rid of him? Looks like I didn't need to dirty my own hands doing the deed after all…

We began on our trip home, with no detours for once. My hopes and dreams of having a peaceful journey were dashed the moment Komachi opened her mouth.

"Onii-chan, where is Kawasaki-san? Don't you guys normally come together?" How could this happen to me? My dear Komachi had just betrayed me.

"I didn't see her after school." I fell back to my well-practiced skill of telling the truth, kind of. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"Anyway, how was your day?" I added, hoping to distract her. Of course, this was not enough to satisfy my dear sister, who had seen through this ploy countless times. She mercilessly continued on her line of questioning. It looked like she would have a brilliant career as a prosecutor. Unfortunately, those days had not arrived yet, and today I was the poor defendant on the stands.

"Don't try to distract me, onii-chan. You definitely have something to hide… Aren't y'all classmates? Did you suddenly lose the magnificent observation skills that you always boast of?"

"She just disappeared without a trace when we were dismissed." And that was true. She had vanished at the end of class, much like how her smile had vanished at the end of lunch.

"Is that all, onii-chan? You definitely look like you are hiding something…"

I replied to her with nothing but silence. The events that occurred during lunch were resurfacing once more. The very same memories that had been plaguing my mind since they occurred. Seeing that I had gone silent, Komachi once more seized the initiative.

"Gomi-chan, if you don't tell me, I'll ask Taishi-kun instead." Hey, it does hurt when you refer to me like trash, you know? This was such a terrible world to live in. An elder brother was being held hostage by the one he held dearest. I instinctively scowled when I heard that cursed name. I was not going to allow him to poison my pure and affectionate Komachi even more. However, Komachi sure was scary at manipulating me. I pity whoever ends up with her in the future. Not that I was going to let that happen anytime soon. Not on my watch.

Given what happened the last time the snake uttered anything significant to Komachi, I was not about to let it happen again. With a sigh of resignation, I began to tell the tale of what happened during lunch. Her eyes sparkled as I told her about the bento, but they were rapidly replaced by one of exasperation as I got to the conclusion.

She let out a long drawn out sigh, before punching my sides lightly. "Onii-chan baka! No wonder you can't get together with anyone… Looks like Komachi is fated to take care of you for life. Onii-chan sure is dense when it comes to this kind of things…. When will you learn? To think that I had higher hopes in you…."

Already rather frustrated at the entire situation, Komachi's responses were not helping in the slightest. There was no way I could ignore the situation. After all, I was the cause of her misery. What was wrong with offering a friendship? No way she wants more than that. I am just unable to believe that. Women are such annoying creatures, similar to puzzles, they take so much effort to crack. I can only hope that Komachi does not become such an annoying creature when she matures. Although she already is pretty annoying towards me, sometimes.

What exactly had happened?

For someone who loved to indulge in my own thoughts, I hated this, for I was totally lost. I had decided to take what I felt was a logical step, an action that seemed to be the best course of action. This time it had backfired. It was unlike the previous times where I applied it judiciously and solved the issues, only to be chastised by others for my methods. This time, there was no satisfactory conclusion to the issue at hand. People are irrational decision makers after all, and what just happened was a result of that… right?

It hurt when I saw her tears flow, but that was because I made her that way, and its basic human decency to respond in such a manner. Yet for some reason, I found myself unable to move. Why? Was I at a loss of what to do, or was I afraid of what was to come if I caught up with her? Why does it hurt so much whenever I remember those moments? All these questions, but I can't find any answers. The only things I was sure of was that there was a jabbing pain in my chest and that I was extremely vexed.

I honestly don't know anymore, for the monster of logic had failed me. What do I do now?

Not being able to hold it in anymore, I let off a loud grunt in frustration, in the hopes that it would alleviate me of some of my irritation. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. However, what it did do, was to garner some irritated glances from the people milling about in the street around me. Komachi looked at me with concern but decided not to say anything.

And so, I found myself left with a problem that would not be solved anytime soon.

The next few days were uneventful. She was consciously avoiding me, for whenever I turned to glance in her direction, she either looked out of the window or decided to pay extra attention to the blackboard. She continued to ignore me even after school. Honestly, it was getting awkward, even for us loners.

Those words that we exchanged during lunch that fateful day remained our last.

What did this mean for our relationship? Did she even see me as a friend? Given her adverse reaction to my offer, I could only guess that friendship was not what she had desired. What did she exactly want then? Before this, I guess that we could be considered acquaintances, having spoken to each other before on multiple occasions, so that was out of the question. Was it something… more? I refused to entertain such thoughts, for that would lead to a very dangerous place indeed.

* * *

Soon, it was Friday. A joyous day, as the weekend was upon us. The precious weekend where there was nothing but rest and rejuvenation, with a side of homework. Over the past few days, we had made our own individual journeys to fetch our siblings, and today was going to be more of the same. Or so I thought.

As I left the school for the last time this week, a wild Kawasaki appeared as I passed through the gates. For the first time in days, she did not shy away from my presence. It was a welcome change. She was obviously waiting for me and had something to say. I waited for her to speak up.

She put her hands to her chest, closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, before opening them again and looked at me. That once again reminded me of how gorgeous she was.

"I'm sorry. I overreacted the other day. Let's be friends?"

I was shocked. The events of the past few days had suggested that whatever she wanted, it was not friendship. Did I draw the wrong conclusions? However, I accepted her offer. It was what I wanted after all… right?

"Sure, let's be friends."

An uncomfortable silence reigned over us for a few moments.

She gave me a smile in response, as she turned around and we resumed our journey. However, I could sense that this one was different from all the others she had given previously. It seemed fake, almost as if she was building a facade to hide something beneath. I could feel that something was off. Being friends is supposed to be a moment to be celebrated, right? I could not shake off the nagging suspicion.

This was supposed to be a victory for me. I had, after all, made a friend as I wanted. But, somehow, this victory felt hollow. Was this what she really wanted? As an experienced observer of others, I felt that it wasn't. But the monster of logic had already failed me, and I know not if I should trust it anymore.

As we got on our bikes and rode off towards our siblings once more, I was slightly glad at the return of the routine that had been interrupted for the past few days. Man are creatures of habit after all, and feeling familiar with a routine definitely helped put me at ease. Finally, a semblance of a normal life was returning. I was beginning to hate how we were like for the past few days. For now, it seemed that the storm had cleared, and the massive weight on our shoulders was relieved slightly.

As we made our appearance outside the gates, our siblings began to stroll out alongside each other. Taishi was getting way too close to my precious Komachi. Shoo off, will you? While I have immense trust in the Japanese healthcare system, a bite from a snake like you is sure to cause Komachi suffering. Preferably you would walk behind her… I think about fifty paces back would be a safe distance….

"Onii-chan, do you want the good news or the bad news?"

Looking at how she brightly was beaming, I decided to go for the good news first.

"So… starting next week, you won't have to come anymore! The school authorities managed to convince the police to patrol the area more, and there will be parent volunteers helping them out to spot anyone suspicious. Isn't that good for you? You won't have to rush over every day anymore…" Wait… that doesn't sound like good news to me, quite the contrary instead. Now I had less time to spend with my dear Komachi and protect her from the sneaky slithering snake that is Taishi. Worst of all, I could no longer skip club activities. I feared for what was to come: the bad news. Not wanting to prolong my suffering, I asked Komachi to fill me in on the details.

"As for the bad news… well, you won't have an excuse to hang out with Kawasaki-san anymore~" she trailed off and gave me one of her trademark winks while sticking out her tongue. How cute.

Kawasaki had evidently overheard what Komachi had just said, for she turned around and announced, "See you around in school then, Hikigaya. After all, we are friends now… right?" She tried to sound convincing, but her hesitation gave it away. I was unsure who she was trying to convince. Me… or herself?

I could only give a nod in response.

With that, we bade farewell as we made our respective journeys back home. I began to ponder on what Komachi had said, and while she was being cheeky as always, it was true. I now no longer had a reason to interact with Kawasaki anymore. We just happened to share the same responsibilities, and it was inevitable that we helped each other out. With this episode coming to an end, it looked like things would return to where they were before. After all, we would only see each other in class, and as loners, we would not interact without a good reason. Things would definitely return to as they were. I'm sure of this. Was this what I wanted? I felt a strange pang from the depths of my chest.

* * *

As a responsible member of the Service Club, I grudgingly made my reappearance on Monday. It had been just over two weeks since I last entered the room, yet it still felt so familiar. Of course, as is customary, I was met with a friendly welcome by Yukinoshita.

"Oh dear, it looks like our resident siscon is finally back. Yuigahama, can you please help me get the disinfectant? I don't want any of whatever it is he has on me." Unlike her chest, her insults were always blatantly in my face, and difficult to ignore.

By now, I was familiar with this charade, and so I readied my arsenal and fired back. "Don't worry about catching anything from me. If there was anything to catch from me in the first place, Kawasaki would have caught it a long time ago."

Wait, what? Weapon misfire! That was certainly not what I had meant to say. Unfortunately, I had revealed what was plaguing me all weekend, and it was something that would not be resolved anytime soon.

I thought that with the passage of the weekend and the whole school day, things would be back to normal. We had no more reason to interact, and without any reason to interact, without something to gain from one another, there was no basis for us to keep in contact. She would resume with her life, and I would carry on with mine, on our separate paths, till they cross again one day, if ever. I should be happy. After all, this meant less pesky interaction with others. It was desirable for me.

The girls were shocked into silence, and I took my seat. Well, a win's a win, and I would take the accomplishment of making Yukinoshita quiet any day of the week.

Taking my usual seat, I retrieved my light novel from my bag and began to read. It seemed that the Service Club had become more of a reading club nowadays. Although I was not entirely sure what the pair of them did while I was not around. Yuigahama tended to get quite touchy with Yukinoshita even when I was around, and I could only imagine what had happened in the two weeks when I was missing.

The fact that we were having a lull period was unsurprising, given that it was a week from the end of the term, and most people were busy making their own plans for the winter holidays. Just as well. I needed to catch up on my reading anyway.

I thought I would be able to settle back into my rhythm of reading once I opened my book. However, I found myself staring at the endless strings of words with no actual comprehension. I couldn't concentrate. This was supposed to be my sacred time, where I would spend alone and delve myself into the adventures of whoever it was that truck-kun had decided to slam into. Sensing that I was not going to make any progress, I closed my book in frustration.

It had been three long days, but it still had been biting at me. Slowly my doubts were gnawing away at what I thought was my a strong and absolute conclusion that I had arrived at previously. _If she was fine with being friends, so be it. She had simply changed her mind._ _She had said so herself._ Why was I thinking so much? Time and time again, my thoughts revolved around her. No matter what I did to distract myself, I couldn't avoid it for long.

Something felt… missing.

I had never felt like this before. I was perfectly glad at the current arrangement of how we ran the club, and even today, Yuigahama was surprisingly quiet. Did someone finally invent a silencer for a cannon? The peace and quiet, with the background sounds of clinking teacups or boiling water, accompanied by the soft aroma of whatever blend it was that Yukinoshita decided to try was something that I had grown used to. Today, however, I did not feel at home. I felt uneasy.

I leaned back on my chair and exhaled loudly.

"Looks like the poor siscon is already missing her sister. What a creepy siscon you are, Hikigaya-kun."

I did indeed miss someone, but it wasn't Komachi. I see her every day after all.

I realised that I missed… _her._

I missed talking to her. Her flushed expressions, her smile. I missed the warmth on my back and her intoxicating scent. It certainly helped that she was simply beautiful. Finally, her cooking. My heart ached as I recalled the events that immediately followed that.

What has she done to me? Before this, I never craved to be with anyone, I loved to be alone. Being alone was a normal thing for me, and I did not despise it. For the first time in my life, I felt truly lonely.

I needed her. But what did I see her as? I closed my eyes and I rubbed my forehead with my hands.

We were friends. She said so herself, and it was me who went along with it. It was a leap of faith for me to begin with, and I should be glad that it had worked out. It was nothing special between us, it was an expected result from our increased interactions over the last two weeks. That must be it.

Every time I came to this conclusion, I was reminded of the events of that fateful day she ran away. Screw this, I was stuck in a hamster wheel with no way out. My logic had broken down, but I wasn't sure how else to think, or how to fix it.

I opened my eyes to see two pairs of concerned ones staring at me. Did they master the skill of teleportation?

"Hikki, are you okay? You have been looking very tired since the start of the day..."

"Hikigaya-kun, I guess it's time to remind you that the service club is also open to requests from its own members."

I had sworn to never put my trust in others, for they would only disappoint you at the end of the day, and leave you when there was no more benefit to be reaped from you. That is why doing things alone is the superior way. No one could disappoint you if there was no one to work with.

However, against my better judgement, I decided to seek help anyways. My logic was evidently no longer working, and I definitely needed assistance before it could be fixed. I was going crazy.

Once again, I took the seat opposite the pair, and I began to recount the events of the past two weeks. I left out certain details about _that night,_ but from Yukinoshita's unfazed reactions, I could guess that Yuigahama had already spilt the beans. I ended my account to total silence, as the pair of them let the events sink in.

As expected, it was Yuigahama who broke the silence.

"How… dense can you get, Hikki?"

"What did I do?" Being called dense by the club's resident airhead certainly made me slightly miffed. After all, it was her with the triple-digit exam rankings across the board.

"Hikigaya-kun, you just did onto her what others did to you back in middle school. You know it, don't deny it any longer. I know you are smarter than this." Yukinoshita looked straight at me with a look of encouragement.

What happened back in middle school? The bullying? No, I still get that from this pair anyway.

It took a few moments before I realised the futility of my denial. That was what she meant. I had brutally crushed her hopes and dreams when she tried to push for them. I swore never to experience it myself ever again, but then I had done it to someone else instead.

I had rejected Kawasaki, and instead, I offered her a friendship that she did not want.

I was the villain this time. What a twist of fate. It was this that I could not accept. I had been running away from this since the very day it had happened.

I could no longer deny it. Deep down, I knew. It wasn't difficult to infer what she felt. But I simply refused to believe it. I hoped against hope that my conjecture was wrong and that what I convinced myself to be correct was the actuality. I acted according to that, and it ended up hurting her.

I had been scarred, and ever since then, I've told myself never to believe in the fragile thing that is love.

Love. The word is thrown around so cheaply by others at our age nowadays. The fragile, tenuous thread that had broken me, along with my semblance of a bearable middle school life.

I simply refused to recognise the fact that Kawasaki had fallen for me, and that the very thing I banished from my heart those years ago had come to haunt me once more. I had been in denial for longer than I would admit.

However, I simply could not ignore what had happened that day any longer. The imagery of her face torn with grief, accompanied by tears streaking down her cheeks had denied me many hours of my sleep. That haunting image, contrasted with that fake smile of hers, was what kept me awake at night, and unable to concentrate in the day. I was a broken man.

Love, attraction, whatever you call it. Every time I've been involved in such a thing, it has caused me nothing but hurt. It does not help that my memories are nearly perfect. Even if the specific events themselves get hazy, I will never forget how they made me feel. Every time I recall those events, it hurts… It hurts so badly. Why would I willingly put myself under such torment again? I would like to think that I'm being pragmatic, but honestly, at times its mere pessimism. I would be lying if I claimed that I never craved companionship or someone whom I could depend upon. It is an innate need of us human beings, and even I'm not immune to that. I try to banish that to the back of my mind whenever it arises, but recently it has awakened more and more, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore it. Just what exactly has Kawasaki done to me?

"This is something only you can solve. Think clearly about what you want, Hikigaya-kun, and how to properly communicate it with her. Only you yourself would know what you want. Of course, we will be here to help you whenever we can, but at the end of the day, the choice is yours, Hikigaya-kun."

"Don't take too long, I'm sure she's hurting too. She's somehow more… reserved, even more than usual. It's obvious enough if anyone looked at her during class," Yuigahama added. I never knew Yuigahama was so perceptive. After all, I thought that she was an airhead, a title well deserved, as proven by her recent examination results. Then again, human interaction was not an examinable subject.

I now recognised her feelings for what they truly were, for I could not ignore them any longer. But what were my own? My heart had been hardened, and I dared not think about such matters for years. How do I learn to feel again?

* * *

A/N: This was, hands down, the most difficult chapter to write so far. I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed it. Once again, immense thanks to Bchets, Xynovitch and yang for the beta/proofread. As always, reviews are extremely welcome. See yall soon.

Katyusha.


	5. Resolve

**Yukino POV**

I've never ever seen his features filled with such worry.

I was shocked at how perplexed, how perturbed he looked.

His usual dead-fish eyes actually looked alive for once, alight with a passion never before seen. Not even when the club faced its worst crises did he show such a determination. He might not know it yet, but it was clear for all to see. He was extremely concerned for her. Those eyebags that sat beneath his eyes did not lie. He evidently had not gotten much sleep since that day.

The pieces of the puzzle were finally coming together.

Only the two of them would ever know what exactly had happened, but judging from Kawasaki's tear stricken face that day in the washroom, I could make my inferences. She was distraught, broken as if someone had ripped her heart out. Her cries still rang in my ears as I recall those events. I would not forget those soul-piercing shrieks anytime soon. I was at a loss as to how I would comfort her, but I couldn't ignore her. After all, we were the only ones in the restroom, and I was not going to abandon her. I could only stare as I awkwardly patted her back while she bawled her eyes out.

I felt a pain from within my chest, for that passion of his was not for me. It looks like the mission that Sensei had entrusted me with would soon come to an end. I'm supposed to be glad that I had completed Sensei's request, but I am unable to find myself being satisfied in any way. It looks like the only way out of this was to guide him to the treasure that I could not possess. At least someone would be happy at the end of all this. I could only hope that he would not remain stubborn in his ways.

* * *

 **Hachiman POV**

I have no clue how to go about doing this. This isn't something I have dealt with before. Yet it keeps on bugging me, day after day, time and time again. I have lost all reason to interact with her, yet I still seek to see her. I yearn for her. What has she done to me? I'm quite sure what she feels for me, but… what about me? I had spent such a long time being an enigma to others, so much so that even my own feelings are now encrypted even to myself. Looks like there was only one way to solve this.

I have to ask her out, don't I?

The lunch bell finally rang, and the teacher released us from the clutches of lessons. It was a temporary respite, but a much welcome one. After all, I had decided to do something, and this was the moment to put my plan into action. I had thought long and hard about this, and it had cost me much of my precious sleep, but I couldn't let it slide any longer. Today was the day I was going to ask Kawasaki to hang out after school. _Hang out._ What am I, a riajuu now? It was all for the sake of deepening our friendship, nothing more. It was totally not because I no longer had a reason to interact with her. That was totally not the case at all. It totally isn't because I needed answers for myself, and for her sake.

Now, how do I go about actually doing it…

My observant eyes had noted that she had already left the classroom, and so I headed out towards the vending machine. If she wasn't there, she probably was at the rooftop. My highly accurate deduction skills proved to be extremely reliable once again.

There she was, crouched over the vending machine, retrieving her drink. Her long hair flowed down her back, drawing my glance downwards. Her tight dress hugged her behind, and my eyes were instinctively drawn towards it. After all, it left little to the imagination, and due to an unfortunate incident months ago, I already knew what lay beneath. Then again, I was reminded of it a couple of weeks ago. I forced myself to look away before my thoughts became too dangerous. _Don't think about the black lace, don't think about the black lace… Oh snap._ Coughing lightly to warm up my throat and clear my mind, I spoke up.

"Ka-Kawasaki, would you like to go out with me this afternoon, you know, as friends…" She turned around, visibly surprised, clutching her can of juice tightly as if it provided some comfort.

I missed her. After all, I haven't talked to her in ages, and that nagging feeling from Monday was still biting away at me. I knew that she had feelings towards me, but what exactly were mine for her? I still had no idea.

"Just the two of us?"

"Yes, who else?" I wasn't aware of any mutual friends we had, and I definitely was not about to invite Ebina or something.

"That's so unfair of you…" She uttered under her breath, barely audible in the crowded hallway. Unfair? Last week you sprung the biggest ambush of a lifetime on me… This doesn't even come close to that.

"So?" I urged, not wanting to spend more of my lunchtime awkwardly conversing in front of the vending machine. We were beginning to draw stares from the passing crowd.

"Yes. Yes, I would like to, but don't you have club to go to?" Her eyebrows raised in questioning.

Oh right. That existed. Not that I planned to go today. It looks like she paid more attention to my schedule than I did myself. My mind was currently clouded with way too many things anyway, and the main cause was standing right in front of me. I was momentarily stunned, but then thanks to my high spec brain I quickly recovered.

"We decided to take some time off, considering that it's the last week of the semester before the Christmas break, and no one has been giving us any requests recently. If they really need us we are still contactable through that email." That, obviously, was not the entire truth. I didn't even know if they got any requests in the past two weeks anyway… Not that it mattered, right? If they really needed me. They could always give me a call anyway.

"Let's go then." She then awkwardly shuffled past me and headed for the stairs. We were getting towards the depths of winter, isn't she going to freeze up there? I had my own lunch to deal with, plus now I had to figure out a way to throw Yuigahama off before she demanded I walk with her to the clubroom that I never planned on visiting today.

Then again, where did I plan to go today? I realised that I had not made any plans. I had asked Kawasaki out on impulse, and now that I have gotten so far, it dawned on me that I actually had no idea what it was I wanted to do. How does one hang out as friends anyway? Like… I've never done anything like this before. Sure, I had observed more than my fair share of riajuus and their curious activities.

Furthermore, a certain president had dragged me along on more than one of those affairs that she insisted were "practice dates", although it was more like being an unwilling accomplice to her embezzlement of school funds. I could only hope that I would be able to maintain my innocence if and when anyone else found out about it. For once, I would be able to put it to good use… but what experiences I garnered from there were only applicable to dates right? And I definitely was not going on one with Kawasaki… definitely not.

The bell that dismissed us finally rang, and I once again exhibited the well-rehearsed routine of stuffing my items into my bag. It was a speed gained through repetition. I wondered if I was approaching the ten thousand hour mark of "deliberate practice". I was going to disappear before Yuigahama realised, and I was definitely not going to wait for Kawasaki in class. That would be loner suicide. Given the number of stares that we have been getting lately… That was definitely not the right choice. I decided to make my way towards the bike stand. Much like the past.

The relatively calm weather over the past few days had given way to strengthening winds. We were, after all, heading towards what was supposed to be the coldest part of winter, if you ignored that recent snowstorm. That snowstorm and the events that happened were etched deeply into my mind. I found myself revisiting those memories once more. The smooth, warm sensation of someone holding me tightly. It gave off a feeling that I could not describe. I could only say that it was pleasant.

"Hey, Hikigaya." Kawasaki waved her hands in my face, violently bringing me back to the present time. Directly looking at the source of that warmth, I felt some on my cheeks.

"Y-Yo." I respond, still slightly shaken (not stirred) from my rude awakening.

"So, where are we going?" Kawasaki asked as she began to free her bicycle from the chains that restrained them.

Where did I want to go? I had no clue. Drawing on the small reserve of knowledge I have from the "dates" that _someone_ had dragged me along on, I remembered that eating would be a good way to start. She would always choose some café, but that was because we were doing "research." Remembering that my wallet is still recovering from the tragedy that was the snowstorm, I decided to propose the most logical option. Saize. Cheap and good. No way Kawasaki would reject it right? I mean, as far as I know, she didn't seem like the type who would abandon logic in the face of fancy, pompous looking cafés. I mean, it's not as if we are on a date right?

"How about Saize?" I enquired.

"Sure. Let's go." she replied as she began to lock her bicycle. I was confused, until she turned around and said, "Surely you don't think we are going to go all the way there in our bicycles right?"

Ahh... right. It was a few train stations away from central Chiba. For some reason, my high-spec brain was not fully functional. It must be the cold. Yes, the weather is to blame. Totally. Doing the same to my trusted steed, we then proceeded out of the gates. The area around the school was filled with members of the ever popular Go Home Club. How envious I was of them. My observation skills had been honed over the years, and typically no one gave a damn when I was going home. This time, however, I felt countless pairs of eyes looking in my direction, and at her, as if we were doing something suspicious. What, even I can have friends. Who are these people to judge me anyway? It seemed that I had lost my passive ability to blend in with the crowd overnight. Maybe it only covered one person, and I needed to get a buff. Where's an invisibility cloak when you need one?

While I didn't really pay them much attention, Kawasaki evidently noticed the stares as well, and she began to use those long, slender legs of hers to stride away, and I was struggling to keep up. Was she… embarrassed?

While a guy and a girl walking home together did raise some questions, most of the time it was platonic.

After a couple of minutes of impromptu exercise, we finally arrived at the train station. Luckily for me, the weather was cooling, and I did not sweat as much. Sure, I wasn't the fittest high school student around, but I sure disliked having to exert extra effort unnecessarily. Efficiency is key.

Thankfully, the trains were not very crowded at this hour. The corporate slaves who made up most of the traffic were still tied to their desks. This meant that there was more than sufficient space for us to stand. No chance for any of those cliched rom-com situations that would occur in a crowded train. We stood at a safe distance apart, and I grabbed on to the poles like any other considerate passenger. There wasn't going to be anyone falling on someone else today.

I cast a sidelong glance at Kawasaki to ensure that she did the same. Kawasaki had remained silent throughout the whole walk, and as she wrapped her hands around the dangling handles, I noticed that she had managed to mend her gloves, and her repairs were quite skilful. Unsurprisingly, of course, given her contribution to the play that our class had done months ago, the play that I thankfully was able to escape from. I shuddered at the thought of having to act out those extremely questionable scenes with Hayama. Someone should really put a leash on Ebina's fantasies. It was scary how a random author could come up with pairings that didn't make sense in real life, honestly.

That was an incredibly awkward train ride, even for us loners who seek and embrace the silence. We finally arrived at my safe haven, Saizeriya. Chiba's very own restaurant chain which has spread its wings across the globe, bringing with it cheap, good food. Maybe I should work for Saize's marketing in the future. That seems like a viable option. I'll probably get free meals too. I'm not going to say no to free food. Anyone who does that is stupid.

Stepping into what was extremely familiar territory, we were assigned a table of two and we sat down. I flipped through the menu that I found more familiar than some of my textbooks and began to choose what I wanted to eat. At this point, flipping through the menu was more for show rather than for its actual purpose. I love Saize. I can regurgitate the entire menu without a hitch. I'm not sure if I would consider it as part of my 108 skills, but it's something.

Having decided on the Carbonara, I put my menu down and waited for her. She was staring attentively at each page of the menu as if making an important life choice. Come on, it's just food, what's so difficult? All the food served here is great tasting and cheap, so all of them are good choices. After a while, it looked like she had narrowed it down to two choices, but she was having a difficult time deciding. I decided to hasten the process. After all, the smell of the food wafting over from adjacent tables were beginning to whet my appetite. The smell of cheese and clams were ruined by the slight touch of tomatoes. Nevertheless, my stomach was beginning to complain about its empty state. It was begging to be filled. I leaned over to look at what options she was considering.

It was a mistake. The smell of delicious Italian food was replaced by the delightful smell of Kawasaki. I was close. Dangerously close. She still smelled of lavender. Much like _that_ cold day we spent on my bicycle. That felt like it was such a long time ago. Distracted by my head peering over her menu, she looked up at me, and our eyes met. She was looking at me unabashedly, and I found myself being drawn into those beautiful eyes of hers. If she was dangerously close before, she was now life threateningly close. I could feel her warm breath on my lips, and her breathing was rising in frequency. Wait… if I could feel her breath, what about mine? I closed my eyes and shook my head to remove those scary thoughts from my head. I did not need my mind to wander where it did not need to. Closing my eyes also released me from the entrancing spell that was her eyes. Some sense finally returned to me, as I reluctantly pulled away. It was becoming increasingly difficult to avoid looking at her. On her part, her eyes were hell bent on darting away whenever mine came close to glancing in her direction.

I began to scratch my cheek as I looked away. It felt surprisingly warm. Silence reigned over the table for what felt like forever, as I gradually got back to normal. Realising I had to break the impasse, I spoke up after clearing my throat.

"So… which dishes are you deciding between?" It was taking a while, and I was getting hungry.

"I want the Milano Doria, but some of the sides look good too…" Her voice trailed off as she hid her face behind the menu. Ahh yes, the Milano Doria. It was my weapon of choice to smash a certain snake's face into, but it was the piercing stare of the girl in front of me that prevented Taishi from meeting his deserved fate many months ago, in this very restaurant.

"We can share the sides you know?" I reminded her. All this waiting and what not was definitely helping my appetite. Not giving her a chance to hesitate, I sounded the bell to summon the waitress over.

My tactic worked, as we ordered without a hitch. Looks like taking the initiative does help matters after all. It seemed that talking to someone else instead of me had helped her to regain her composure. Normal colour had returned to her cheeks, and her ample chest was no longer heaving as rapidly as it was moments ago.

Now began the awkward moment that existed while we waited for our food to arrive. Normally someone would fill the void with noise, but the both of us were not suited to that role. Which was why I found spending time with her pleasant anyway… Wait. What did I just say?

No way… Now I needed something to distract myself from those thoughts, and her beautiful face. The menus have been stowed away, the table was empty and we had gotten our drinks…

I winced a bit as I opened my mouth reluctantly. "It's been a while since we've been here, haven't we?" Now that was a typical line to open a conversation. I've learned enough from observing riajuus and their methods to fill the emptiness with noise. After all, Yuigahama definitely did demonstrate this ability of hers multiple times a day.

It was true, the last time we came here was when the irritating snake managed to trick my poor Komachi to wait for us here after school, and his scheming motive was to find out more about Sobu High, and more specifically if there were any pretty girls here. My response was to encourage him to give up on such pursuits. Looking back, I think I should have tried to tempt him with fabricated tales of the pretty girls of Sobu. That way he might finally let my dear Komachi off from his venomous fangs.

"Yea... It has been…" Her eyes wandered off into the distance, seemingly recollecting the memories that I had just recalled. Now that we were free of any other distractions, I found myself entranced by her features. Unfortunately, I was soon interrupted by the sound of the bell ringing at the entrance, signalling the impending arrival of someone that I had become way too familiar with recently.

"Ahhh, Hikigaya-kun, it really is you~" The fake, pretentious voice belonged to none other than Yukinoshita Haruno. I rolled my eyes instinctively. Just my luck. I should have known. After all, our seats were alongside the window facing the street, visible to all who walked past. I groaned internally as I turned to face her. I have her the most mundane expression I could muster.

"Yo." I gave her my curt greeting, as usual. Let's get this out of the way, shall we? It was now that I was thankful for the waiter who guided us to these seats. After all, there was only enough space for two… but then again if he didn't give us this table in the first place, Haruno wouldn't have spotted us… Damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

"Sneaking away from club to have a date with another girl… how ungentlemanly. Aren't you afraid of Yukino-chan finding out?" I thought that the Yukinoshitas were cultured beings? What happened to that? Evidently, Haruno had forgotten these lessons on basic courtesy.

This interruption was definitely not welcome.

"It's not a date." It wasn't. It was merely two friends hanging out. Evidently, it didn't look like that to her.

"Who is this anyway, some random girl you picked off the streets? I thought you had a better taste you know…" Haruno-san leaned in as she whispered those last few words, her menace barely hidden. She darted her eyes across the table and looked at Kawasaki as if she was evaluating a piece of trash. Her rich smelling perfume was overwhelming, and I was repulsed. Objectively it should have smelled good, but then my nose had been pampered with something much better recently. She sounded like she was referring to a piece of scum, an undesirable even. She tended to do that to anyone in my grade that wasn't her precious younger sister. I saw right through her anyway. I felt a rage rising up from within my chest. She didn't even know her. What right did she have to say such things?

Taking a deep breath and attempting to expel any thoughts of violence out along with my breath, I said, "Why don't you introduce yourself first? This is Kawasaki Saki, my classmate… and a friend of mine." I gestured my hand across the table towards a Kawasaki who was getting evidently annoyed at the intrusion.

"Ahh, Saki-chan! Nice to meet you. I'm Yukinoshita Haruno. I'm also an alumni of your school! In fact, Shizu-chan used to be my teacher as well… I'm sure you have seen my younger sister around right?" Haruno fell back to her pretentious tone that tricked everyone but me. On her part, Kawasaki was looking visibly annoyed, and she did not bother to hide it. In fact, it looked like she was making it as visible as she could.

"Yes, I have. I have Hikigaya here to thank for that, in more ways than one." She gave a terse reply, long enough to answer her question without being rude, but short enough that the message was clear. _Piss off._ Her scary eyes were boring into Haruno's. They were back! Those eyes that tried to kill me when I came close to strangling that snake brother of hers… I'm glad that they weren't targeted at me this time.

Thankfully, Haruno seems to have gotten the message, as she retreated from her and once again turned her attention to me. I was amazed. It was rare to see someone who dared stand up to her. Even I dared not make eye contact at times. She was a scary woman.

"As I said before, having an affair isn't admirable you know…" I stared at her wordlessly, not bothering to waste my breath.

"Anyway, enjoy your time together~ I shan't interrupt you two lovebirds no more..." She said dreamily as she drifted towards the exit. I was… until you came in, and what was that about lovebirds? Did I not tell you moments ago we were friends? Sure, she does see me that way, but as for my own feelings… That wasn't important at the moment. The fact that the mood had been soured was.

My eyes drilled into her back as she left the restaurant, blended into the crowds and disappeared without a trace. If only she could disappear without a trace from this world.

"Enjoy your time…" I mimic her dreamy voice as best I could before I went in for the kill.

"Freaking bitch," came the response from across the table.

She stole the words right out of my mouth. I chuckled heartily, for the first time in a while, but I was interrupted by her.

"I hate people like that, you know? Walking in and out as she pleases, not giving a damn about anyone… They flaunt their connections and act pretentiously. All because they come from a better background that they themselves did nothing to achieve it?" Kawasaki's eyes lit up with rage, beyond a level I was used to. I mean, the feeble eyes of a brocon were nothing to fear about, but this was… different. Passionate even. I liked it.

"Did you…" I interject, wanting to confirm my suspicions.

"I heard everything. She wasn't even trying to hide it." That explains it. Even I was enraged. Not surprising that the one targeted felt the same.

"What do they do with their time anyway, walking around town teasing random people they meet? Living such a carefree life without much worries… but wasting it on such trivial things." Was that… jealousy? I guess everyone has those feelings, to different extents. Not me though. I'm never jealous of riajuus and how they form couples and do questionable things in public. I'm not Sensei after all. Not yet anyway. Maybe I'll reach that stage in a couple more years. Or maybe I can be one of those people I read about on the news from time to time, people who decide 2D Vocaloids can be their wives. Who knows?

"Life is never fair. It just isn't. That's just the cruel reality. Even if it is we would still find something to complain about anyway. I mean, just do whatever you can to get to where you want to. Trying to get to something which is unattainable is pointless. We should just focus on what is in front of us. Focus on what you can change, and ignore those that you cannot change. I mean.. I'm sure you are doing a pretty good job of that back home. You know, trying to help your siblings as much as you can?"

That would definitely cheer up the lifelong brocon. I mean, even her parents were full of praise for her, and her affection for her younger siblings was plain for all to see. That was the only reason why Taishi is still breathing, honestly. She might have some grudges that she had to be the one in this role, but I don't think she hates it at all. It would be great if someone else could take care of her though. I gave her a slight smile to cheer her up. Saizeriya was a great place to eat and enjoy the simple pleasures of life, not to sulk and pout about the things that mere mortals like us could never fix about life in general.

"Yea, thanks I guess… W-we should just focus on what is in front of us… S-Sure..." Kawasaki seemed to be internalising what I said quite well. I guess she was one of those with an aural learning style.

As if on cue, a waitress arrived and served us our delicious food. I got my pasta, she got her Doria, and here came the side. It looks like her choice was escargot. Personally, I rarely got it, as the portion was a little too much for me. It's not bad. After all, it has been a while since I've had some.

"Is this okay?" She asked meekly, the rage that previously filled her eyes when she ranted about the unjust, cruel world we live in were now filled with something… tender. I preferred this look. At least I felt that I wasn't under any mortal danger, and this expression of hers...

"Yes, it is, I haven't had it in a while anyway."

"Neither have I… When I come with my family Kei-chan always gets her chicken wings, then I can't order any other sides." Of course. She would always let the needs and wants of her younger siblings take priority over her own. She didn't mind sacrificing her own desires for theirs. How caring. Sure.. she didn't mind sacrificing herself, but at what cost? Even if those around her recognised her efforts, that did not return her the opportunities that she had lost. It was such a thankless job. One that I found oddly familiar.

"Let's eat then, before it gets cold."

The rest of the meal went on without a hitch under a familiar silence. At least till the very end. You see, the problem I have with the escargots are that they are a little too rich for my liking. I could only handle two of them before the grease got to me. There were six of them on the plate, and Kawasaki had taken her fair share. I implored her to take the last one, but she refused, insisting that we agreed to split it. It was a foolish argument over nothing much, really. I for one, never really cared about social rituals like these. So I decided to be swift and decisive. Scooping up the last escargot, I unceremoniously dumped it on her plate. Ha. Your move now. It was a well rehearsed and executed move, one that I had done many times on Komachi whenever there was something left on the dinner table that none of us wanted to eat.

It wasn't the fairest of ways to get someone else to eat it, but I never fought fair anyway, and as I've just discussed, the world isn't fair, so why bother trying to fight fair?

"Just take it." I insisted, she wasn't going to resist anymore right? It was already on her plate after all.

"But you just… with your spoon…" She looked hesitant, almost as if she was doubting herself.

"Yes, I gave it to you with my spoon, so just eat it? You rarely get a chance to eat it anyway, right?" I gestured with my hands for her to well, carry on. Hand gestures? What, am I now Tamanawa's assistant? If that's the case, we would need to come up with an ACTION PLAN to ensure the SMOOTH CONDUCT of this hangout session… Speaking of which, I still had no idea where to go after this. However, I do have an idea on how to deal with this.

"So, Kawasaki, where do you want to go after this?" One of my important survival skills. Making my problem someone else's problem. That way I don't have to deal with it! How smart was that? It looks like I was going down the wrong path and raising the wrong flags. I should really spend less time with a certain scheming kouhai of mine. But then again… she did ask me to take responsibility… I think she should take responsibility for corrupting me instead.

A single sentence of mine was sufficient to let her go deep in thought. While I was more than willing to stare at her looking into the distance, I don't think the staff would have been very happy at all. I mean, I probed her a little bit more as I called for the bill.

"Anywhere that you haven't been to in a while? Maybe the arcade or something."

Her eyes lit up as I said that. Maybe she had recalled something pleasant.

"The arcade." She nodded silently, as if to convince herself that it was the right choice. I found myself looking at her ponytail which bobbled with every movement of her head.

I guess it was the kind of place that you visited often while you were young, but the older you got the more you didn't fit in. Plus, going alone to the arcade was kinda weird. Nothing wrong with that, but your options were limited. After all, the machines nowadays were increasingly designed to cater to riajuus and their wolfpacks.

The kind waitress walked over with the bill, and I promptly paid it with two thousand yen notes. I should get quite a bit of change back, such was the budget-friendly nature of Saizeriya that I've come to know and love. Of course, I paid for her. It was one of the few things I learnt from those "practice" dates that I've been burning my weekends for. I say few because I'm already a high-spec gentleman and I and had little left to learn. That's the truth. Now, to quell the inevitable protests from Kawasaki. For some reason, our societal expectations mean that one is expected to try to foot his or her share of the bill as well, even though the other party is willing to treat. It's counter-intuitive. Why would you say no to a free lunch? One that is kindly offered to you by someone else? The world is truly a weird place.

"Th… Thanks." came her reply, as she swept her hair behind her ears. Stop looking at me with those eyes! She looked surprisingly cute when she did that. I'm beginning to feel weird inside… What was she doing to me?

Wait, what? Wasn't she going to fight over the bill or something? For some reason, I still felt that there was an obligation to explain my actions. No, I was not going to boast about my high specs. That was plain for all to see, and I was a humble gentleman anyway. It was, in fact, because I felt slightly guilty for dragging her out like that. She probably had better things to do than getting pissed off while eating at Saizeriya.

"Shall we?" Her words broke me out of my daze. I could only muster a nod as we began to leave the premises. What was I thinking about again? Before I could muster my brain to recall what it was, the sliding door opened and I was met with a blast of the cold, winter air that was the outside. While the sun was evidently trying its best to warm the earth, it was evidently fighting a losing battle today. Luckily, the arcade was nearby, and it did not take us long to arrive there. More importantly, it was well heated.

The biting winds of winter were soon forgotten as we were deafened by the sound of the arcade machines. This was one of the largest arcades in the Chiba area. Its glass doors slid open as we approached, and the warmth embraced us from within.

Looking at the plethora of games available, I was drawn in by the claw machines. They were, after all, my domain of expertise. I've managed to master the machine since my days in middle school. It was totally not because I had spent countless afternoons wiling away training here after school since no one ever invited me out and my parents were unwilling to buy me my precious Vita-chan.

However, before I could make my move and exhibit my hard earned prowess, Kawasaki had drifted towards one of those shooting game booths. Personally, I was never a fan of those. It involved way too much physical effort for a game, and the lack of someone to play co-op mode with was an immense obstacle to fully enjoying the gameplay. Damn these riajuu oriented design philosophies.

Not wanting to be a wet blanket, I decided to tag along. It was totally not because I could finally try the co-op mode for once. She fetched some coins from her purse and began to feed the machine. Its screen lit up in anticipation and Kawasaki handed me one of those fake plastic guns.

A semblance of a tiny smile graced her lips as I took the gun from her, only to be replaced by a more stern, serious expression as she turned to face the screen. It gave me a slight sense of uneasiness. Surely she wasn't some closet expert, right? I pride myself in being rather capable at such games. I mean, up till recently, a huge bulk of my free time was focused on either playing games or reading anyway. What a great life I lead.

The way she held the gun did imply that she was a skilled marksman. Although the co-op mode was meant to foster cooperation between the two players, the fact that each player had individual scoreboards only served to further increase competition among the supposed brothers in arms.

I lost. Miserably. I looked down in shame and away from the screen that beamed the fact that I had a quarter of her score. The sound of every prize ticket being spat out from the machine only further served to drive that fact home. I don't think she even missed a single shot. In another universe, she would have been an excellent hitman. It was as if she was the incarnate of Sniper Wolf. Unlike most games, there was no sneaky, scheming way to achieve victory. I was beaten fair and square. This is why fair fights are for suckers. As I was beginning to slip into an existential crisis while reflecting on all the time I have wasted on games, I was interrupted by a chuckling Kawasaki. It was as if she was adding insult to injury.

Sensing my pervasive sense of defeat and doom, she said, "I used to play this game quite often. Taishi used to drag me here regularly during our middle school days and eventually I got pretty good at this."

Ah. So it was Taishi's fault. Again. One day. One fine day, that incorrigible snake will meet his timely fate, and I would be the one who sent him on this way. He needs to watch out. I'm just slowly biding my time, waiting for that perfect moment to strike…

I was still discontented. Seeing that my disgruntled expression was still written all over my face, she once again brought her hand to her mouth and let out a light, hearty chuckle. _Hey, don't cover half of your face, I was looking at it…_ It looked like she was genuinely enjoying this. What have I brought upon myself? It was I that suggested this place, and it was I who got utterly destroyed.

The competitive spirit within me had been awoken. I felt that I had to get even, to get back at her. It was the kind of illogical emotion that inevitably arose when one came to the arcades with someone else.

I recalled the path to my salvation. It lay right at the entrance of the arcade. My eyes glimmered as I glanced over at the row of claw machines. To the untrained eye, it looked like I was merely looking over at the machines, but in actual fact, I was scanning for the one that had the best chance of success. My high-spec eyes spotted the machine I was looking for. One that was not so fully packed with toys that they wouldn't budge, and it had one of the larger toys laying on its side. Exactly what I was looking for.

Feeling somewhat confident, I stood up with pride and turned towards Kawasaki, laying down my challenge. Gesturing over to the claw machines, I said, "Round two?"

Now, this was what I was truly best at.

There was a little trick I've seen and subsequently mastered on these vicious claw machines. Instead of going for the head as most sensible people would do, I have perfected the art of hooking the merchandise tag with the claw. That way, no matter how weak the claws were, the hook would still cling on to the toy. It didn't matter.

Sliding my coins into the slots, I gained control over the all powerful claws of doom. Skilfully maneuvering it into position, I was about to launch the claw downwards when I was interrupted by Kawasaki.

"Isn't it slightly too far to the right? Or are you not going for the bear at all…"

Watch and learn, my girl, watch and learn.

I watched gleefully as one of the claws sank its fang into that non descript tag, and managed to hook it up. I was slightly out of touch, but I was definitely in my element. Did I mention I never fought fairly?

I smashed down the button that would send the claws downward and that soft toy to us. She let out a shriek of surprise as the claw managed to snag the tag. All was proceeding according to keikaku. I watched with pride as the bear now made its way towards the corner and got released from the clutches of the claw, where it fell out of the machine. Calculated.

Taking the rather large Rilakkuma [1] from the machine, I realised that I didn't really need this. I have had a significant collection from my middle school days, and a large majority of those were now gracing Komachi's room.

Looking over at the Kawasaki who was still visibly amazed, I had an idea.

"Here you go," I said as I thrusted the bear towards her.

"F... For me?" She had become flustered, and her cheeks were becoming red. An awkward silence was beginning to sprout.

"Yea… I think it would look good in your room anyway. It's a bit sparse, isn't it?" I nodded in confirmation. And that was true. Her room was a bit sparse… and I definitely would not tell her that it was because I had way too many at home, and my parents had forbidden me from bringing back anymore. It would have made a decent Christmas present for Komachi though… Half-truths were the way to go. But then again this wasn't exactly a lie.

"My room looks a bit sparse…" She echoed as she looked at me forlornly.

Unfortunately, the silence continued. Don't look at me like that with those eyes, you are making me all flustered too! Thankfully she looked away before something even more dangerous could happen. Wait… why is her head still turning away?

She dashed off.

Wait, what?

She had made her way to the counter, and began to exchange those tokens from the shooting game for some… keychain? Seemingly satisfied with her selection, she returned to where she previously was. So she was the kind who felt the need to reciprocate. I guess it was the societal pressure of not wanting to feel like you owed someone a favour. But if she was really so concerned about that, she also would know she had owed me many favours from the past few weeks…

With something to give in exchange, she was finally willing to take the bear off my outstretched hands. In return, she placed a small keychain on my palm. A small Rilakkuma looked back at me as I glanced at my palm. It was the same design as the large plushie that I had won but in a much more practical size. That works, I guess. What do I even do with it though? Most people attached them to things like their pencil cases or something.

My parents had inculcated excellent morals in me since I was young. Furthermore, I was a high-spec gentleman. As such, I would need to show appreciation for any gift given to me, no matter the value. Not wanting to bother with opening up my bag for my pencil case, I simply attached it to the zipper on my bag. Fuss free. I am a lazy bastard after all. Satisfied with that arrangement, I looked up to see a Kawasaki discovering how soft the plushie was. Her arms crossed the bear, and she rested her chin on top of its head, partially obscuring her face. Her eyes were closed, unaware of her surroundings…

Unaware of how cute she looked. That is, until she opened those eyes of hers once more, and found mine looking right at her. We broke eye contact instinctively. I was feeling something weird within my chest once more, and the heated surroundings of the arcade were beginning to feel slightly too hot for comfort. I needed to cool down.

"Let's go," I said, heading for the exit. I couldn't stay here any longer.

And that was how, for the second time today, I had no idea where to go. At least I didn't feel that warm anymore. Judging from how red her cheeks were, it looked like Kawasaki felt the same.

Thankfully, this was Central Chiba, and options to wile away our time were aplenty. There was a bookstore across the street. How convenient. I needed to make a trip over to one anyway, given that, unlike a certain author from a certain series, the latest volume of the light novel series I was following actually did get released on time. Imagine leaving fans to wait for six months, delaying releases thrice, then announcing an indefinite delay due to "production issues". No established author would do that… right?

"Can we head over there for a moment? I have something to get."

"Hmm? Sure." Kawasaki was beginning to look a bit ridiculous with that huge Rilakkuma in tow. I was thinking about getting her a bag for it, but it looked like she was going to hug that thing all day long.

Picking up the latest volume detailing the adventures of Truck-kun's most recent victim, I decided to take a look around for anything else that might have caught my eye. Given my lack of proper reading time nowadays, I decided to walk over to the manga section. It was much easier to read those, and if I picked those episodic series, I did not need to re-read previous chapters if the author did not release anything for the past three months. That was definitely a good complement to my increasingly busy schedule.

Having walked one round the store, I haven't really found anything special, so I set about looking for the Kawasaki I had accidentally left behind. I found her scanning through a manga on one hand, while the bear was tucked under her other hand. I was amazed at how she didn't knock anything over in the narrow aisles of the store. On closer inspection, it looked like one of those shoujo manga series that middle school girls loved to read. Not Komachi, of course, for she had a normal life and had no need for such means of entertainment. However, I never thought Kawasaki was one of those. I didn't want to interrupt her, but it looked like she was getting way too engrossed.

"You getting that?"

"No, not really. I'm just looking through. I followed this series years ago and was quite surprised to see that it's still ongoing. Maybe the author decided to take long hiatuses after each volume."

"I never knew you were a fan of these kinda genres." I was still trying to conjure up an image of a middle school Kawasaki reading shoujo manga. Despite my brain's valiant efforts, I could not reconcile those two things.

"Well, I used to love it, but then eventually I realised that it's all so unrealistic, the first guy or girl the main character meets will almost always be the one chosen in the end, it just comes naturally. Un...Unlike real life you know, where you might not get what you want, even if you fight hard for it. Also, real life responsibilities became a thing, and I never had much time to devote to such things anymore… What did you want to get? It must have been something good, seeing that you rushed out of the arcade so quickly…"

I turned the book's cover to face her.

"Isekai, really? One of the top ranking students in Japanese develops his language ability by reading trashy isekais?" Kawasaki teased, a smile forming at the corner of her lips.

"Light novels are the epitome of modern Japanese culture, and the isekai trend is merely a manifestation of that… Furthermore, novels from such genres tend to have simpler language, and I would rather read something more easy going, rather than some overly pretentious monologues by a high school student who thinks he knows it all. Furthermore, these series tend to suffer less from random 'production issues' that forces fans to wait even longer for an already dragged out series. I'm not going to wait one year for one measly volume, like do they think readers have the patience of gods? My youth is way too short to waste it by wasting brain capacity and feelings on such series, you know?"

Kawasaki began to chortle loudly, garnering stares from other patrons nearby. It looks like I had gone too far this time, and got self absorbed into launching an angsty rant. Damn you, Kawasaki, how could you do this to me?

Between fits of laughter, she managed to make a semblance of a sentence. "I… have never… seen you… so passionate… about anything… Like you were so serious! I was joking, you know?"

At least it looked like one of us was enjoying our time, but it wasn't me. This whole thing was starting to look like a bad idea on my part. After attracting the attention of what seemed like half of Chiba, I quickly proceeded to the cashier so that we could leave the store. While I normally do not care about other people's perception of me, this was a whole new level. All I wanted was to get a light novel, not get stared at as if I had committed some heinous crime.

Once more we banished ourselves from the warmth and comfort of the heated shops, only to face the brutal cold outside. Kawasaki was still hugging the bear as if it gave her warmth. I had no such privilege.

Since I had dragged her to somewhere I wanted to go for purely selfish reasons, I decided to ask her if she had anywhere she needed to go.

She glanced at her phone to check the time, but it looked like she had received a message.

"I need to go to the supermarket to get some ingredients for dinner, but now it seems that I have to pick up Keika as well." She said with a slight frown, her dampened mood in sharp contrast to her previous self.

"I'll go with you then, I mean, how are you going to shop with that thing in your arms? That was my fault anyway." Poor Rilakkuma had nowhere to go, for he was way too huge to be safely stowed anywhere, but in her arms.

"Are you sure? It's quite the journey you know…"

"Yea, it's my fault you don't have your bike with you anyway, and we live quite close." Not close enough on that day though, for that snowstorm opened an extremely potent Pandora's box that had yet to be shut, or totally dealt with.

* * *

That was a generous offer on my end, but my body was already complaining. _Just how much food does the Kawasaki household consume?_ It must be Taishi who is eating most of it, that useless parasite of a brother. He can't even cook without setting the house on fire, but was able to consume so much food? This just added to an already enormous list of reasons why he must and will be quarantined from my precious Komachi.

I was on the verge of regretting the offer, but a true gentleman never goes back on his words. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had done such things for a girl. However, this wasn't the one puny bag that Isshiki has when she drags me along to meetings with that dude from Kaihin. This was hard mode, no, this was nightmare mode. At least we were getting to the nursery where Keika was at. It meant that we would soon be homebound.

The doors to the nursery slid open and revealed an energetic Keika.

"Ha-chan, Ha-chan!" Keika wailed excitedly as she dashed over to us.

I knelt down and rustled her azure hair. It seems like the genes of beautiful blue hair ran deep within their family.

I looked up and found myself staring into the eyes of the demon itself. Was she... _jealous?_ Keika gave off a satisfied giggle and gave me one of the brightest smiles to ever grace this earth. Even my younger sister can't be this cute.

Kawasaki's features relaxed and she no longer tried to kill me with her looks. That was to be expected, for I was the greatest siscon to ever roam this earth. Fear me, Kawasaki, for no one can outshine me in this respect.

With Kawasaki's hands freed due to my role as a pack mule, she led Keika away as we began the journey home.

* * *

[1]: Cute stuffed bear character of Japanese origin. (Just look it up.) Unlike Watari, I do not need to invent stuff toy designs to avoid copyright lawsuits.

* * *

A/N: Apologies for the long, long hiatus. Irl stuff, motivation and other priorities hampered my ability to finish this chapter. I sincerely hope that the next chapter would not be too long a wait for you guys... Thanks to Brietard and SouBU for the beta, and all of you for your infinite patience :) It's been awhile since I wrote, so feedback is appreciated. I'm not going to make any promises for the ETA of the next chap, but I don't think it will take as long as this one. It is likely that the next chap will be the last. I hope to see you soon.

Katyusha.


	6. Resolution

We were in the depths of winter, and by the time I had arrived home, night had fallen. It was a tiring day, both physically and mentally.

I unlocked the door and twisted the doorknob, only to find myself ambushed by a wild Komachi lying in wait at the doorway. It was almost as if she was expecting me. Maybe she missed me so much that she couldn't bear to wait any longer. She is such a precious imouto.

"Komachi, I'm home."

"Onii-chan, you are finally home! What took you so long today?"

"Club ended late. Have some pity on your poor onii-san." I was not in the mood for another round of Komachi Wright: Ace Attorney. Not today. Not now. Not after what happened just now.

"I presume there was a request? By any chance… did it involve Kawasaki-san?"

I gulped at the mention of her name. Sensing blood in the water, Komachi's next move was a vicious bite. Poor me.

"More specifically, did it involve getting this cute little keychain… or perhaps… helping her carry her groceries home?" Komachi ended off with a smug laugh, and her poor onii-chan had no response. How could she do this to me? She began to examine the evidence that was the keychain I had just received. I knew I should have put it inside my bag...

Realising the futility of denying what had happened, I decided to inquire on how she knew.

"How did you know?"

"Not even trying to deny it anymore eh, onii-chan. Do you honestly think you could go to Kawasaki-san's house without me knowing? I have a little informant there you know… "

Ah. So it was him. The scheming snake had become a spy, a source of leaks. I hope that one day he would end up seeking asylum in an embassy for seven years and go crazy in the process. Curse this Taishi to the ends of the earth. Maybe him wanting to go to Sobu wasn't a bad thing after all. I don't think he could survive sensei's punch. That way, I didn't even need to get my own hands dirty. Now that would be a fitting end to him.

"So? What did you do today?" Prosecutor Komachi pressed on with her line of questioning. I was beginning to be glad that our parents often came home late from work. I did not need any witnesses in this interrogation. Certainly not my mum. She was beginning to be worried about my future… especially after she found out about my lifelong ambition.

"I hung out with Kawasaki… you know, as friends and all…" I hung onto that line of reasoning as if my sanity depended on it. Well, it did, to a certain extent.

"As friends? Stop lying to yourself, onii-chan, you never do this with any of the other friends you have, no matter how little they number. Like, have you ever asked Totsuka-san to hang out?"

Ignoring the last part of her sentence for fear of raising a flag that would only satisfy Ebina, I replied with a tinge of anger. "If that thing already told you what happened, then you should already know how that ended, right?"

I was getting annoyed at this point. So much so that I charged into the bathroom with nothing more than my bare self, brushing past a stunned Komachi. Not that I cared anymore. I was on the edge of exploding, and I did not want to lose it in front of Komachi. She deserved better. This whole affair wasn't her fault anyway.

I turned the heater up to max and let myself get swallowed by the hot jet streams of water coming out from the shower head. The sound of flowing water splashing against me provided the cocoon of isolation for my thoughts. Thoughts that were lingering back to what happened back at Kawasaki's home.

It was a long and arduous journey. Sure, there was Keika who made things much more lively, but truth be told, I was beginning to regret what I had so selflessly volunteered for. Perhaps, it was really that slight guilt that I felt for making her leave her bicycle back in school, but I know that was a lie.

That smile. That damn smile of hers. Luckily for me, she was being a siscon, and way too engrossed with Keika. She did occasionally glance at me, but her eyes darted away the moment we made contact. I think she was just making sure I didn't run away with all the groceries or something. Not that it stopped me from continuing my "observation".

When we finally got home, that snake leapt from his lair and offered his assistance. I thought he would be useful for once, but I was terribly mistaken.

"Onee-chan, you are finally back! I'm starving…" Ahh yes. That gluttonous snake who gobbled up anything that appeared in front of him, but was banned from trying to cook anything to feed himself for fear of burning the entire house down. What a useless freeloader.

"Oh, onii-san is here too? Hello! Let me help you with those…" How many times have I told him _not_ to call me onii-san? Looks like all that nutrition wasn't going to his brain at all. Where did it go then? Normally it goes to the chest… but in his case... At least he was willing to help me with the groceries. Not wanting to wait for him to slowly slither down the steps, I gently placed them in the corridor.

It was then that he decided to ask that question that would bring it all crashing down.

"Why don't you stay for dinner? Onee-chan's cooking is delicious, you know…"

He uttered what he thought would be a harmless question, acting as a gracious host. Instead, he set off the time bomb that had long been ticking and deeply buried in our hearts. He… he had brought back memories of that terrible afternoon. By now, the sight of her running down the corridor in tears had been imprinted in my mind and fated never to leave it. That was the curse of having a brilliant memory. This lad would be killed one day if he doesn't learn how to control his mouth.

A flash of pain cut across the features, but then her normal expression returned.

"T-Thanks for your help, but it's getting late. You should go back. Don't let Komachi worry about you."

I was speechless. I felt an urge to say something, but no words formed in my head. I stood rooted to the ground, unsure of what to do.

Now she turned around to face me, her moist, sparkling eyes hardening with resolve.

"Go now, please."

I couldn't find it within myself to object, not when she looked at me with those eyes. So I turned and made for the door, unwilling, and unable to look at that particular expression of hers for any longer.

It hurt.

I closed the door, pushing it hard against the frame to make sure it was secure. My fingers gripped tightly around the metallic handle.

I forced myself to let go before the biting cold began to hurt. Making sure my shoelaces were tied properly, I began to step away from her home, taking in the darkening sky that was representative of my mood.

One step, then another. Away from the place that started it all. Away from where she still remained.

Will I ever return?

Why… why do girls exist? All they serve to do is play with my heart, tug at my heartstrings, present an enigma that I can never fully resolve. Time and time again I have told myself to distance myself from such irrational feelings, and whenever I think that I have done enough, something like this happens. I… I get pulled back in, and those interactions linger in my mind, replaying itself time and time again. Fate is such a cruel mistress. I… I can't deal with this anymore. Every time, I try to run away, but it feels like this time, something is different. I no longer have the courage to run away. I no longer have the ability to run away. Just what exactly have you done to me, Kawasaki…

I winced as I recalled her last words before we opened the door to her home.

"Maybe being like this isn't so bad after all…"

That option is out of the window now, isn't it?

I smashed my fists against the wall in frustration, adding in a grunt for good measure. I… I needed to give her an answer, or else it would only serve to hurt her even more. That, unlike my answer, I was sure I could not bear to see.

* * *

 **Saki POV**

As he turned his back toward me, I felt like saying something, but the words got stuck in my throat. I wanted to move up, to stop him from leaving, maybe even give him an embrace from behind, but my feet refused to move.

I had, after all, forced those words past my lips, and he complied. Part of me wanted to take it back, but I knew it was the right move. For the both of us.

The light bang of the door on its frame as it closed opened the floodgates. My thoughts began to overwhelm me.

I was afraid. He hadn't reciprocated my feelings for him, and if I made any moves, I was scared that this would be the last time we could spend time like this. I didn't want to lose whatever we had between us at the moment, even if it was tenuous. He was willing to interact with me despite what had happened, for which I was glad. I thought I had lost it all. I know that this won't last, that this isn't sustainable, and every memory I make with him will only serve to deepen my pain when the inevitable end comes. No matter how many times I try, I just can't let go of him. Not now. Not ever.

Hikigaya is like a drug to me, and I fear for the day that I can no longer live without him. I mean, even my sleeping self hasn't been able to forget about him, and he was appearing way too often in my dreams. It certainly didn't help that every time I enter my room, I'm reminded of the events that transpired that night. And now he has given me that bear to adorn my room with. I just know that I would hug it to sleep thinking of him. I know myself too well.

This whole thing was a bottomless abyss, and I already am getting sucked into it. Too far in to stop myself, too far in to save myself.

My thoughts were broken in the silent corridor by a certain younger brother of mine.

"Onee-chan, I'm hungry, what's for dinner today?"

All you know is to eat. Everything is about food. I hope one day you choke to death on your food, Taishi. Attempting (and failing) to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, I pick up the groceries he had left on the corridor and headed into the kitchen, making sure to wipe away the moisture that had collected in the corner of my eyes.

This was going to be a long and terrible night, and it had only just begun.

I had to put an end to this. For him. For me. For us.

Love is such a painful thing.

* * *

 **Hachiman POV**

Through the sounds of the water rushing past my ears, I heard the door outside slide open.

"Onii-chan, I put your clothes and towel outside… Take your time, okay?" Komachi was helpful as always, and for that I'm extremely thankful. That was the one thing the gods had blessed me with.

Did she hear me slam the wall? She certainly did… Oh no. It looks like I wasn't going to look her in the face for a while. Her words still rang within my head though.

" _You never do this with any of the other friends you have, no matter how little they number."_

I couldn't think of a rational reason why I did what I did. I wanted to seek answers, but all could find was even more questions. To resolve this, the only way forward was to spend more time with her, right? No. that's just looking for an excuse to see her. But why?

Spending time with her was just… _pleasant._ When she smiled and giggled in joy, when she gave me that look while hugging the bear… I felt… happy. I felt an urge to preserve and protect that smile of hers, and her happiness that came with it. Did I finally feel something… genuine? I cringed slightly at the cheesiness.

Realising that I should not be wasting water, despite Komachi's kind words, I decided to get out of the shower. I was still a responsible member of society after all, and water is precious.

Recusing myself to the refuge that was my bed, I fished out my phone from my bag and found myself staring at it. I had several notifications.

"y did u go off without me? :(("

"Whr r u Hikki? Yukinon went looking for you…"

Not bothering to read the rest of Yuigahama's texts, I dispensed them with a tap. I found myself staring at the message history between Kawasaki and I.

Why am I doing this again?

I couldn't leave things hanging between us. Not after how it ended. It left a foul taste in my mouth, and my chest clenched in response. If I let this slide, I don't think I would ever find the courage to speak up again. But… I was afraid of hurting her again.

It wasn't that I wanted to talk to her, it just felt right doing it this way. Something I've never known existed within me until today had surfaced, and those were the cause of my actions. I was no longer acting logically.

No way. I couldn't do this. What do I even plan to do anyway?

I put my phone down on the bed.

That was when disaster struck.

You see, being the filial and frugal son that I was, I never insisted on upgrading my phone that often. As long as it still worked and I could play my trashy gacha games, I was perfectly happy with it. However, the screen was beginning to show its age, and would register phantom touches, even if I'm not touching it. This happens more commonly after I leave my fingers on the screen for too long. Normally it was when I'm playing a game, but I had left my fingers pressing hard on the screen just now, hesitating and deliberating on my actions…

It sent a single word.

"I."

Below that, the words that sealed my fate in more ways than one appeared.

The _sending_ turned into _received._

It meant that I could not delete the message without her knowing. It would appear as _message deleted._ Which would be incredibly suspect.

I knew this for a fact, as I once received a random text from a classmate from my middle school. Before the excited me could read the contents of said message, it turned into those two words. "That was meant for someone else," she then claimed. It was a repressed memory from dark times, but it reminded me about how these apps worked.

I also knew that there was a _read_ function, and luckily that had not appeared beneath that singular word.

It meant that Kawasaki was still busy with something. Either she was still feeding that fat pig of a brother or she was taking a shower….

Ignoring the floating imagery of black lace and blue towels that were floating about in my mind, I forced myself to come up with a solution.

I hastily typed something and pressed send, before throwing my phone onto the bed.

It was time to replace this piece of junk.

* * *

"Hikigaya."

"Hikigaya. Come find me after school." Sensei had knocked me out of my daze with her boisterous voice. Normally I would be more alert in lessons, especially hers. After all, I was not a masochist, and certainly not a fan of her punches. Not those that landed on me anyways. If she could land one square on the face of Taishi, however….

I just didn't care anymore.

I gave a slight nod in reply, before slouching even further onto my desk. The cause of my current mood was across the classroom, and from what I can see, she was trying her best to keep her eyes drilled onto the blackboard.

She… she didn't reply to my message last night.

She did, however, read it.

She was intentionally ignoring me, and not for the first time in recent memories.

Not finding any damns to give for sensei's lesson, I put my book over my head and fell asleep. I just couldn't find it in me to care anymore. Not with what happened yesterday hanging over my head.

I was awoken with a bang. Literally. Sensei had decided to use the spine of my textbook as her weapon of choice today, and the poor victim was the back of my head.

I looked up to see sensei with a pile of books in one hand, and my textbook in another. Her eyes were looking at mine with a tinge of… concern? I would have expected anger.

"Come, let's go."

Settling into the teachers' lounge that was becoming way too familiar to me, sensei finally revealed what she dragged me here for.

"So… where were you yesterday?"

Oh shit.

She knew. But how much did she know?

I decided to try my luck.

"I wasn't feeling well yesterday, so I went home early." Well, that wasn't entirely wrong, although I didn't feel well for entirely different reasons.

"Hikigaya, mind raising those blinds near the window? It's a bit dark in here." That was weird, we never did this while in here, and I definitely felt that the lighting was more than sufficient. Nevertheless, I followed her instructions anyway.

I cursed internally when I raised the blinds.

"Hikigaya, would you mind telling me what is it you see out of the window?"

"The front gate."

"And else what do you see to the left of the gate?"

I gulped.

"The bike stand." In fact, I could see Kawasaki unlocking her bike, which was still right next to mine.

"Good. Would you like to guess what I saw while airing out this room after taking a smoke break right after school?"

Oh no.

"W…. What did you see yesterday, sensei?"

"I saw a certain someone waiting at the bike stands for a girl with a long blue ponytail. Sounds familiar to you?"

Before I could say anything, sensei continued.

"I bumped into Yukinoshita yesterday too, the poor girl was looking for you… and it appears that the club had recently received a new request that I was not aware of? As the teacher in charge, I need to remain accountable for the club, you know?"

Sensei stood between me and the door, and so she had literally cut off my avenues of escape. Maybe I'll jump out of the window. The second floor wasn't that high anyway. Images surfacing in my mind of a crying Komachi beside me in a hospital bed persuaded me otherwise.

"So… what was it you were doing with Kawasaki, and what was the request that Yukinoshita said that you should be the one who should inform me? She was quite insistent on that too."

I slunk into the sofa and took a deep breath. This was going to be a long day.

"As far as I know… the two of you no longer need to pick up your younger siblings, right?"

I nodded in submission.

For the second time this week, I opened up my heart and let the words flow, this time more unwillingly then the previous time.

"Goddamn it Hikigaya, I know your language abilities are way beyond this. Tell me again. What do you call it when a guy and girl as you insist, 'hang out' with no one else?"

"I know that you know it. Say it out loud, Hikigaya. Stop lying to yourself."

"A… a date."

"That's right. How smart of you." Sensei gave me one of her smirks.

"She didn't reply your text. So what? You have that mouth of yours you always use to retort me, so why not use that properly for once? Or do you need to communicate using senyrus on strips of paper? Stop giving yourself excuses, Hikigaya. You are better than this… I've seen what you can do if you set your mind to it. This isn't all that you can do."

"If those decisions are painful, it means that you care about it. That's all the more why you need to make a decision. Dragging this on would only hurt you both. You know this, Hikigaya."

"You can't keep on harping on the past. Sure, you learn important lessons from them, but are you sure that you are not blinding yourself by constantly looking back at the past? The only way you can go is forwards, why don't you look towards the future for once? Cherish what you have and what you can have, and don't fear what you can stand to lose, for you might forsake something even greater. You don't have much time left before the winter break. If you let this ferment over the break it would be impossible for you to speak to her normally ever again."

"I think deep down you already know what you really want, but you are just unwilling to accept it. Being determined doesn't mean being stubborn. One can help you get to where you want, the other might harm you instead. At the end of the day, no one will row your boat but you. "

"I know it might sound ridiculous coming from someone whose own relationships never seem to get off the ground, but trust me, Hikigaya. I've seen enough. Don't let this be yet another chapter of regret in your youth. Add a couple more of those and before you know it, you will soon be just like me."

I've said it before and I would say it again… If only Sensei was ten years younger, or that I was ten years older… But not in this world line. Sensei's name wasn't Hina, anyway.

"I think you have heard enough from me now…" She said as she began to stand, and this was the sign for me to leave as well.

"Oh, one more thing. As punishment for sleeping just now, you owe me an essay titled 'The Merits of Listening to Sensei in Class.' It's due before the winter break starts."

"But that's tomorrow!"

"Indeed. You better get started fast."

I groaned in agony as I left the lounge.

* * *

I needed more time. Not just for that essay, but to find out what I truly wanted. Problem was that time was running out for both of them. It was already lunchtime on Friday, and it would be the last school day of the year. The long-awaited winter break was finally upon us. Sensei's words echoed in my brain, along with what Komachi had implied. I… I needed to take action. Fast.

I decided to finish that essay that I owed sensei first. I doubt that she would be as generous as she was yesterday. Not with a lonely winter break looming, and the arrival of Christmas reminding her once again her status as an expired Christmas cake…

Now for the second, more major problem. Kawasaki was still acting as she was the previous day. My message left unanswered, our eyes refusing to meet. The bell was going to ring, and I knew I only had one chance. One last chance, for I know this would never be the same again, no matter what I did.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

The bell rang.

She began to pack up her belongings, and as she glanced around the classroom for the last time of the year, she found mine looking straight at hers.

For the first time since that… that date, our eyes met.

Shock gave way to an attempt at sternness, but I could feel that it wasn't genuine. She was attempting to scare me away, but by now I had grown used to those eyes of hers and had long since peeled away that facade of hers.

Realising that I was going to approach her, she turned away and began to leave.

My legs were no longer rooted to the ground, and words were flowing out of my mouth.

I wasn't going to let her run away again. Nor would I turn my back on her.

Clamping down on her shoulders to prevent her from escaping, I said, "Christmas Day. 4 pm. At the park near our house."

I could feel her shoulders tense up, but otherwise, she made no other reaction. Not wanting to stay around to feel the inevitable embarrassment that would soon set in, I let go and walked away.

 _What have I done?_

 _What have you made me do, Kawasaki?_

* * *

Spending Mondays at home, with no school. Life is great. Winter break is great. I can snuggle in bed all day and spend some precious bonding time with Vita-chan, who has been sorely neglected recently. Or so I thought.

Komachi knocked on the door.

"Onii-chan, would you mind coming along with me to do some Christmas shopping? We can share ideas on what to get papa and mama too~"

She knew I won't say no. Why bother phrasing it like a question then? I hate being given an illusion of a choice. But then I love Komachi too much to tell her that, so I grudgingly got dressed.

So that was how I found myself at a shopping mall at 10 in the morning. My dear Komachi had lied to me, for her main aim this time round was evidently to look for gifts for her friends. I mean, I was in a shop selling unknown stuff, things that were way too foreign to me, and definitely not what either mum or dad would like. I on the other hand, had some idea what my parents would like. Unfortunately, they were not in this store, but I'm not complaining if it means spending more time with Komachi.

Having left that shop with a bag full of pink and glittery stuff, I presumed that none of them were for Taishi, which got me curious.

"So… What are you going to get for Taishi? Are you even getting anything for that thing?"

"Onii-chan is so rude! Taishi-kun is my friend, obviously I'm going to get something for him…"

"I think giving him absolutely nothing is better. That way he can better appreciate your priceless 'friendship'."

"I'm worried for you onii-chan, with such thoughts how can you ever hope to make any friends?"

"Speaking about Taishi… what are you going to get for Kawasaki-san?" Komachi jabbed me in the side with her elbow repeatedly. I should have known when I started this… That she would turn it around on me. Poor me, getting bullied by my beloved Komachi once again.

I attempted to divert attention by shifting the topic of discussion. "Can we go to the bookshop? I know of something that dad would like. He has been eyeing it for a while now..."

The tactic worked. We found our way to the bookshop, and I found the book I was looking for. It was titled _Fantastic Glass Buildings and Where to Find Them,_ a book detailing the architecture and design philosophy behind the tallest and most unique glass buildings around the world. Dad would always glance at it whenever we walked past this section of the bookstore, but the price of the book always put him off. This was the perfect gift for him. It would be a great addition to the book on Aston Martins he so treasured from that Christmas a few years ago. It was a pity that he could not afford a real Aston Martin. Speaking of which, I wondered how sensei could afford hers. Maybe I could convince Sensei to let dad have a go at it once...

On the way to the cashier, I paid a visit to the light novel section. It looked like the isekai series I was following had a special Christmas reprint of the first few volumes. Not unexpected, given the popularity of the series. I took a copy of the first volume, intending to educate a certain someone on the highlight of modern Japanese literature, and convince her that it was not trash.

Komachi gave me a weird look.

"I can understand the first book, but the second? Do you seriously think papa would like that? You already have that series, don't you?"

I ignored her prodding and proceeded to pay for the books, and to have them wrapped separately. Wallet-kun cried out in pain, but such was the societal pressure of spending on gifts during Christmas.

"You wanted to get Mum some accessories or something right? Let's go."

Komachi disappeared into the depths of the shop the moment we arrived. Normally for us, a shopping trip is a family affair, and I would be stuck outside waiting with Dad. But today, I was all alone. Keeping the phone that would bring back terrible memories in my pocket, I decided to take a look at the latest winter fashion. Komachi was bound to take quite some time anyway, and end up with at least two times more things than she had intended to buy.

That was when I spotted it. A pair of smooth, cream-coloured gloves. I was filled with the irrational urge to buy it. And so I did.

It was a large department shop, and so the queues for the cashier were long. It was approaching lunchtime, after all, and all the corporate slaves have come out of the woodwork to squeeze in some time for Christmas shopping.

I felt a tap from behind, only to find a mischievous looking Komachi beaming back at me.

"Ehh, Onii-chan, who is that gift intended for?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

"If you say so, onii-chan." Komachi replied with a smirk spread across her face, but thankfully she left some words unspoken. I really couldn't hide anything from her.

As I turned back to face the direction of the queue, Komachi tiptoed from behind me and whispered into my ears.

"Good luck, onii-chan."

My cheeks suddenly felt a lot warmer. And it was not the weather, nor the temperature difference. My precious Komachi was scary.

* * *

This was it. The day had arrived. The 25th. A day of destiny.

I checked the bag once more to ensure that both items were in there, before leaving my room and going downstairs.

I got to the main door before I got interrupted by a voice from behind.

"Hachiman going out on Christmas evening? Who are you and what have you done with the real Hachiman?" My mom questioned as she spotted me at the main door.

"It's because Onii-chan has found someone better to spend Christmas with~" Komachi bellowed from the living room, having overheard our mother's comments.

I could imagine Komachi smirking while spreading herself over the sofa. I would have appreciated it if she did not give our mother any more weird thoughts.

I quickly made my escape as I slammed the door behind me, leaving the warm embrace of the home for the outside. I would leave Komachi to entertain our mother instead, for I had somewhere more important to go.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, and the condensation was already forming around my lips. I once again checked the time and location that I had noted down on my phone. If only I got a new phone for Christmas. I needed to make sure I was there on time. After all, I was a high spec gentleman.

I began the trek to the local park in the biting cold. The sun was trying its best to keep us warm, but it was fighting a losing battle against the wind, and it would soon retreat behind the hills.

I met a lonely girl under the Christmas tree, and my fate had already begun to change. Before I could wave my hands to catch her eye, she was already moving towards me. How early was she?

She stood out like a blue gem in the midst of an ocean of people.

I gulped, steeling myself for the moment I have been antagonising over for longer than I would admit.

"I…" Before I could continue, Kawasaki cut me off.

"The past week has been terrible. The more I think about it, the more I miss you. I can't stand the thought of us being mere friends. At first, I thought it was just me being overly thankful for what you have done for me earlier in the year, but as time progressed I realised that I had fallen for everything else about you. Every time we met, every moment we shared together, I couldn't forget. Your aloofness when it comes to the masses, how you refuse to be swayed by norms you think are stupid, how caring and selfless you are and how… how handsome you are." Kawasaki looked up at me with teary eyes, her hands wrapped tightly around my back. This must be the longest speech Kawasaki had ever given, but she wasn't done yet.

"I love you, Hikigaya. I really do." Her eyes looked straight at mine, full of resolve… and passion.

She had laid bare her innermost feelings in front of another person. As a fellow loner, I understood how difficult that could be. To be totally vulnerable, to tear away that facade that had been built around you. To let someone into your heart. I decided to respond with what I felt were my true feelings. Finally, I was willing to face them for what they truly were.

"I love you too, Kawasaki."

It was true. Deep down I found a desire to protect her with all my might, and to shower her with all the affection I could give.

I returned her embrace. She nestled her head on my neck, and I felt her warm tears flowing down my neck. Who knew that there was this soft side to Kawasaki. Only I did, I guess. We stayed that way for what felt like an eternity. As her tears ceased to flow, we relaxed our arms and gave each other some breathing space.

Her intoxicating scent at such close proximity was overwhelming. Her stunning eyes were looking straight at me, but something else drew my attention. Her plump, moist lips were there for the taking, and my eyes were involuntarily drawn towards them.

I went for it.

Her lips tasted slightly salty from the tears that she was shedding, but the sensation of her warm, soft lips pushing against mine was pure bliss. I found myself wanting more, and my hands involuntarily cupped the back of her head, pushing her towards me. I felt her arms tightening around my back, holding me closer to her. I didn't want it to end. At that moment, everything felt right. It didn't matter if the whole world was screwed up. As long as I had her, it seemed that everything would be fine.

She pushed me away to catch her breath, looking down and away from me. Her cheeks were flush, and I too felt a warm sensation on my cheeks, as her warmth receded from my lips.

Deciding that this was the opportune moment, I made my move.

"I.. I have a gift for you."

Retrieving the gloves from the paper bag, I handed them over to Kawasaki, whose eyes lit up in surprise.

"This is to keep your hands warm when I'm not around. Merry Christmas, Kawasaki." Wait, why did I say that? That was not what I planned to say at all.

"Does that mean… when you are around…" She looked around anxiously. Realising what I had just implied, I felt my cheeks go flush. As a high-spec gentleman, I guess I have to follow through with what I promised, right?

"I… I guess." I stuttered as I wrapped her hands in mine. "I'll keep you warm." Looking straight into those beautiful eyes of hers, I find a warmth within my heart that I had never felt before. I was looking at my lover, and I knew she loved me back.

"Here's something more." I waved the book in her face. That's right. I was going to convert her into following the same isekai trash that she denounced. She was going to regret making that statement.

"Ha..Hachiman, I didn't get you a gift…" she stammered, looking away shyly. Did she just address me with my first name?

"You have already given me the greatest gift I could ever receive… your… your love and affection. We can get one later anyway." I gulped as the words left my lips, but it was true. For all the material possessions that could be had, none could replace the beautiful girl I had in front of me, for what we had between us was definitely priceless. I never held hope for a long time, but today that unfamiliar feeling was returning once more. Hopes and dreams of a future with her.

I took her hand in mine and we walked off towards the glowing sunset, as the warmth from the sun was replaced by a warmth much closer to our hearts. We were no longer loners in this cruel world.

 **Fin.**

* * *

A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is it. This chapter took slightly longer than expected, but here it is in all its glory. When I began, I never expected the story to be this long (in terms of word count), or to receive such a frankly tremendous response, one that has far exceeded my expectations. Thanks to Brietard and SouBU for the excellent beta, as always. I hope that every single one of you who has read so far would have enjoyed it. Regardless of whether you liked it or not, please do leave feedback if you feel like it :) While this might be the planned end, I _might_ have an epilogue or two, so keep an eye out for that. No promises though.

See you soon?

Katyusha.


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